He should be publicly castrated for what he did to that poor, innocent Volvo wagon.

Living a short half hour away from Portland, I take a great deal of offense to the idyllic beach town comments. Portland is as close to a city as we have.

Now Wells, where I live, thats the place you described.

Mission failed!

Hey look, there's a race car for Murilee, and a Cherokee for Wert. I see a Gawker-funded trip to Maine in the future!

@mechimike: FJ cruiser, Tacoma, that other Volvo(850/S70?), Infiniti I30/35, CR-V, Expedition, Civic (mid-90s?), and the MkIV Jetta.

Don't mess with people's cars. That's just low

The Volvo deserved it,its fucking beige!

Speaking as a Detroiter; FIRST you flip the car over on it's roof, THEN you light it on fire. Stupid Maine kids....

There's your PCH for tonight - yesterday's car-kebab versus today's rack of barbequed cars.

I'm thinking, take both Panthers (from the kebab) and both Volvos (from the BBQ), and have one big quad engine swap.

@layabout: No, it's sad. Volvo had that colour from 1982 to 1984 IIRC.

In other words, that Volvo was a survivor.

"I drive a Volvo, a beige one. So why don't you cut me some FRIGGIN SLACK!!"

Violent, multiplayer shooters have probably kept me from hurting others and wanting to randomly burn cars. That guy never got to go to a Quake LAN party and he's pissed.

I'm sure he'll just pay out $1200 and have all his guns and ammo taken away, and be back out on the street in no time.

@mechimike: No kidding- and a Volvo wagon that somehow survived 25 years in Maine without it's rear-quarters rotting off and being replaced with stolen "Dangerous Intersection" signs or roof-flashing.. whatta jerk. Probably a gawdamt fromawayuh summah-complaint from Taxachusetts.

And as Benito said, the whole Kittery/Ogunquit/Wells Route One area is the real tourist trap. And we've got "roads" all over the state, Portland is just unique for having streets- there is a distinction.

@FLB: I have seen the error of my ways

@Turboner: Rocket-Arena FTW.

I also destroy with my railgun skills.

@slantsick:

There may be roads all over Maine- but from years at school in Brunswick, I'm pretty sure the roads only go North/South....

Portland punk pinched for pyromania plot.

@mechimike: "How bout we cut the chit-chat, A-hole!"

Hard to tell from that pic, but I'm gonna say that poor desecrated 245 is an '82 or '83.

My '78 and '84 244 DLs were both beige. Very common shade.

@Isetta: that sounds like a line from Carl Kassel.

@fussball: There's nothing out here in the western corner you'd wanna see anyway, unless you consider a '77 Malibu perched on a pile of 1950s fridges to be "sculpture", or "Yahd Aht"...

@Dr.Danger's got nards: Maybe he could put that on my answering machine.

@Benito:
@slantsick:

I agree with you both completely.

I also live in Wells. The traffic here in the summer is horrible. A 15 minutes drive to work can take up to an hour with all the stupid tourists.

And I am glad to see that our Maine-ly news reporters aren't stupid enough to lunge on the "Video Games are the root of all evil" bandwagon.

Used to be, if you stole a man's horse you got a fair trial and quick hanging. Now you just get a quick smack on the nuts and a special friend in the showers.

@slantsick:
Are you in the Fryeburg or Rangely western corner?
We do have some great Yahd Aht heah in Maine deah don't we?

Somebody needs to get a girlfriend.

@fussball: Not quite true... You cahn't get to the tourist trahps in Nahwth Cahnway, NH without US 302, or some other east-west road. (Of coahse, ya cahn't get theah from heah anyway)

@ash78: i agree messing with someone's car is low.. the car didn't do anything to deserve that.

short story: i was dating a girl back in the day who drove a 66 barracuda. she had this knack for pissing people off. one day she gets into her barracuda and starts and drives it home from school. she gets two blocks from school and the car dies. she has it towed to my house. i diagnose it to a problem with the carb or fuel pump. i take the carb apart and it was obvious that someone put sugar in her tank. what a mess. i had a 65 Dart parts car that i ended up using the complete fuel system (from the tank and lines to the carb) out of it to get her going again.

the whole time i explained to her how low it was and how i felt it was an immensely disrespectful thing to do.

a few months later we broke up - not long after she did the impossible and killed the slant six. i am sure she pissed off a few more people in the process thru road rage and other temper related issues (another longer story). the very next weekend after the breakup someone slashed her tires and she blamed me.

i guess she didn't get it.

man, sugar makes a HUGE mess of the fuel system. don't ever do that to anyone - even your worst enemy.

@Turboner: No kidding. They are a great way to avoid actually smiting the people who deserve it.

A guy I knew had a 350 V8 powered Porsche 914 *and* a Turbo New Beetle. Used to get an insane speeding ticket every month. His wife bought him a PS2 & Grand Tourismo 4 and the speeding tickets stopped.

Jack Thompson just creamed his pants, and now he's rubbing his hands with glee.

(Hopefully not at the same time, though.)

In Virginia, we would have said "setting cars on fire" because "starting cars on fire" is an entirely different and more dangerous activity. But what a jerk this kid is.

Don't blame the GTA video game. I think any weird behavior that occurs in Maine is always Steven King's fault! Always

"starting cars on fire".

I usually check if they're not on fire before starting.

@Isetta: nerds, the lot of you. and this includes me, because I got the joke.

@Women hate Bento: Steven King's fault?- yessuh, that guy's a friggin' wicked dubbah.

Stephen King, however, is blameless.

@CEman: Not too far from Fryeburg- a typical little Maine shithole called Limerick.

@slantsick: Oh here we go with the "Bento can't spell" bullshit! I blame the New Jersey Public school system!

From the pic, I'd assumed that Robbie Kneivel's latest stunt had an extremely unpleasant ending.

@slantsick:
I kind of like Limerick actually.
I live in Cape Elizabeth, if you had not figured it out yet..

@mechimike: Ife he laid a hand on my 242 i would kill him on the spot

Nobody better lay a finger on my...Volvo?

Somehow, I don't think Bart Simpson would have worked very well in this advertising role.

u@CEman: I like Cape E. One of the very few Maine towns where you can run/bike on the roads and not expect to heckled/killed. Until now, anyway.

The winter was a long one in Maine this year (seriously, it was rough). Lucky the kid didn't go all Fargo with a wood chipper or something.

@brandegee: "How d'ya split a [Volvo], ya dummy?- with a fuckin chainsaw?!"

I didn't hear any numbers, but the snowfall this past winter must've set some records..

With all the Jalop Mainiacs we got, maybe we should try for a LeMons event at Beech Ridge. (Or on Sebago Lake next winter, how cool would that be?

Looks like he just torched the interior off that 245. One trip to pick'n'pull, some febreze and a couple of air refresheners, you'll be fine. The drivers seat was probably broken anyways.

And what is that kneeling firefighter doing- stealing the "300,000" mileage badge wired to the grille?

@TurboBrick: Gaurantee the dash-pad was already wrecked too..

Volvo 240s are getting pretty scarce at the boneyards though (at least inland)- too much money in scrap right now. My local junkyard doesn't "save" anything but Chevy pickups.

I love that no one other than ash has said boo about practically any of the other cars. $150,000 of automobiles get maliciously Car-B-Q'd, and we're all pining over an $800 Volvo wagon.

And that, my friends, is why I *heart* the Jalop community.

@slantsick: Along with every plastic surface that ever came in contact with sunlight. And the big clock was dead, temp gauge showed zero or overheat, and my favorite, the odometer permanently parked at 130 thousand.

They don't give out those High Mileage metal badges anymore, I just received one and it's a freaking sticker.

@TurboBrick: Yeah, I remember you mentioned that- that sucks. When did they start with the stickers?

I think my '84 (RIP) was the only 240 I've ever seen -or heard of for that matter -that actually had a fully-functional dash. Too bad the tranny wasn't.

And mechimike- if you know where to get a roadworthy Volvo 245 (auto please) for $800, hook a guy up, huh?

Hasn't he played GTA?!
I mean, comeon!

You are supposed to light the cars on fire at either end of a bridge so you can corner yourself off.
Then all you have to really worry about is air support.

@slantsick: My 86 had pretty much every 240 problem imaginable and then I cooked the cylinder head. Yippee. The flashing disco dash lights were something really special.

If you're looking for cheap 240's the place to look for them is Texas. San Antonio and Austin in particular. The only natural predators for them down here with the absence of rust and emission testing are drunk idiots in pickup trucks.

The first timr I heard of the stickers was probably year or two ago, I didn't believe it until I saw it for myself. You still get a "degree" and a 10% rebate coupon for parts.

A lot of people in Portland really CAN'T get theyah, from heeyah.

@sl