Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

This little ray of sunshine is Stacy Marie Oberley, a 28-year-old stripper who lives in Houston. Normally a delicate flower such as this wouldn't merit scrutiny, but apparently Miss Stacy Marie has been a bad girl. Not only is she on probation for narcotics trafficking, but she has stolen the identity of an autistic woman and used it to buy luxury cars. Dainty. According to police, she used the Social Security number to purchase a Maserati Coupé and some form of 2006 BMW. While police have recovered the Maserati, they have yet to find either the BMW or Miss Oberley, but we're sure they have a couple ideas on where she might be.

All of this only goes to confirm our suspicion of women with neck tattoos and 'Marie' as a middle name, kind of like a man with two first names — careful scrutiny required. We're kind of wondering why she didn't just pick up Jenna's Lambo. [Houston Chronicle]