Jalopnik
This little ray of sunshine is Stacy Marie Oberley, a 28-year-old stripper who lives in Houston. Normally a delicate flower such as this wouldn't merit scrutiny, but apparently Miss Stacy Marie has been a bad girl. Not only is she on probation for narcotics trafficking, but she has stolen the identity of an autistic woman and used it to buy luxury cars. Dainty. According to police, she used the Social Security number to purchase a Maserati Coupé and some form of 2006 BMW. While police have recovered the Maserati, they have yet to find either the BMW or Miss Oberley, but we're sure they have a couple ideas on where she might be.
All of this only goes to confirm our suspicion of women with neck tattoos and 'Marie' as a middle name, kind of like a man with two first names — careful scrutiny required. We're kind of wondering why she didn't just pick up Jenna's Lambo. [Houston Chronicle]
Comments
Texas sure is a classy state, huh.
That tattoo has a moon and a rabbit, so clearly she is wanted back at some ranch in Pahrump, Nevada.
not trying to be rude, but how does an autistic woman have the credit to gain access to a bimmer and maserati?
Wait my wife has a neck tattoo and the middle name 'Marie'...
@StuPidaso: She probably just drives them in the driveway.
I truly love that the Houston Chronicle's website URL is chron.com.
@elwood: Houston doesn't count as part of Texas. When we took all that land from Mexico, they gave us the finger when we asked if they wanted to keep Houston.
You're not supposed to steal autistic people's identities; you're supposed to take them to Vegas to play blackjack.
Good gravy Marie.
Miss Stacey Marie will probably avoid jail time by agreeing to appear on season 3 of Rock of Love with Bret Michaels.
I can just see the interrogation in the police station.
"Uh Miss Oberley, I see here that you stole the identity of this poor woman and bought yourself some new cars."
Miss Oberley's response.
"Was that wrong?" "I mean I gotta plead the 5th on this one because nobody every told me I couldn't do that"
It's 3 AM, do you know where your wallet is? It better not be with Stacy Marie.
@StuPidaso: What exactly does autism have to do with credit worthyness? Perhaps she comes from a wealthy family. Not even sure why that was part of the original new story actually...
Yet another car dealership just giving away cars on the basis of the flimsiest id and credit history...
*autistic woman* Wal Mart SUCKS! And so does Stacey with the middle name Marie. Yeah, Stacey sucks alright, yeah.
C'mon guys, give her a break. She got into stripping, trafficing drugs, and identity theft just so she could put herself through college!
In the TV movie adaptation of her story, she will be played by Jamie Presley.
in order to build credit you must be fluent with purchasing and paying off debt. depending on the level of autism the woman has i'm making a stereotypical generalization that the woman who's identity was stolen would not have the credit to purchase said vehicles. also, when purchasing a vehicle your debt-to-income ratio is evaluated and i'm also making the generalization that the autistic woman's income is not so high as to afford a maserati and bimmer. now keep in mind i'm a white trash, velvetta-eater that only wears wife beaters and shorts disguised as pants/gauchos.
She bears more than a passing resemblance to Tonya Harding.
Is this a new career for our kneecapping hero? Stay tuned!
@StuPidaso: Liar! Everyone knows white trash eats Kraft Easy-Mac.
she sucks at nacotics trafficking, she sucks as an ilegal car buyer...
and as a striper.... (cough cough)
if...get rid of this ugly tatoo, and the "classy habbits"... she can get a modeling carrer in a sudamerican country...
otherwise she looks like
"narco-prostitute barbie"...
New Maserati
A dancer's life, terrific
Until the cops came
It's no real shock she did this,she couldn't have made much money stripping,i'd rather pay to look at road kill than see that dog strip.
My question is, what was an autistic woman doing in a strip club champagne room? And why did she have Marie give her a lap dance?
@loyter:
This place needs more drug trafficking stripper haikus. Well done.
Stacy, Stacy, Stacy, where did we go wrong? Me and your pa always tried to give you the nicest trailer to live in. We always bought you Kraft macaroni and cheese instead of the cheap stuff. We even found you that Barbie Corvette at the flea market that never worked, but your pa always pushed you around the front yard in it. I just dont understand how my sweet baby could have gotten caught. Didnt we teach you to be careful around them retarted folks?
@StuPidaso: The criteria used to diagnose autism are far more inclusive than they used to be. Kids that were once labeled as LD or Asperger's are now diagnosed as autistic (thus the "epidemic").
She was probably just a software engineer or something.
@htrodblder:
big lol!!!!! (aplause)
@StuPidaso: Not true. All you need is the ability to pay. And even that is pretty weak now. Look at all the college students who get in over they're heads with credit card debt. Look at all the who bought house costing WAY MORE than they could pay. It used to be that you need a history to get credit. Not any more. Also, as I posted ealier, she could be from a wealthy family. I went to high school with wealthy kids who had credit cards.
@elwood: texas is a very classy state. houston is NOT a classy city. just ask any texan that's not from houston about houston. in fact, ask half the people from houston, and theyll tell you they are there just because they can make more money. texas is a big class, and has alot of class. it's just that the state's largest city happens to be in the armpit. think...austin. when it comes to this. stripper, houstonian, neck tattoo. what else is there to say. at least they mark themselves nowadays.
either way that mugshot is aiming too high.
Women Driving,still cant get my head around that one.
Nothing says "class" like a really dark and large neck tattoo that won't be hidden by anything you wear unless it's a "Mort" turtleneck from Bazooka Joe Comics.
@skyln95: I was going to argue with you. But then I looked out the window at the four strip clubs within 4 blocks of my house (in houston).
@no_slushbox: COTD :)
@workingonyourinvoice: I bet Portland, OR has you beat in strip clubs per capita.
Meh, I'd still hit it.
In article (Autistic women in her 20's and legal guardian are from Wisconsin as is the Miss Oberley) my reflect a little different for Houston, but not the dealer who is now "under investigation" I can say El Peso is much nicer, did you see what I did there.
7 beers,it takes 7 beers to make her fuck worthy,i'm not paying though.
"but we're sure they have a couple ideas on where she might be"
street corner,
crack dealer boyfriend's house,
Elliot Spitzer's place,
etc.
@CEman: It's in the original piece to make the victim look more pathetic, and the (alleged) perp like more of a douche.
I don't care how sleezy they are...its a blonde 28 year old woman, so the BMW HAS to be a 3 series convertible!
The Tattoo on her neck says "Did you take your Valtrex today?" just to remind herself
@layabout: Day shift doesn't pay well enough down at the titty bar.
She might not take the blue ribbon at the fair, but as far as strippers go, she's at least in the top 25%. (or would be if not for the neck tattoo)
@supra89t: I second that vote. Houston is the most un-Texas place in Texas.
I'd hit it too, with a stolen car.
Whats the deal with Broke chicks and expensive BMW's? Remember the woman who used disability to pay for a 650i? Shit, why didn't she just look around for a nice, used C4?
probation for narcotics... I thought they already said that she was a stripper. Aren't those words synonymous.
@loyter: Awesome..COTD
@KaiserM715: That's because none of us are Texans. We're either from up north, or down south.
Houston Crimestoppers
