Jalopnik
With the '69 Citröen ID19 carrying the French to victory over their British rivals in the PCH Superpower Rematch, I can see we'll need to have some more elimination rounds to see whether France or Britain shall be crushed beneath the weight of proudly display the oil-spraying, parts-shedding PCH Superpower Trophy. Today's challenge, however, is a return to a fine PCH tradition with no nationalistic overtones: Two-For-One Hell Projects!
Many of us took a look at the DOTS '56 Willys Station Wagon and imagined ourselves tearing through the woods or desert in such a fine specimen of vintage off-road machinery. Thing is, parts are getting tricky to find for these proto-SUVs, trickier even than fitting a Super-Fructo Distendo-Abdomen™ five-gallon soft-drink bucket into an undersized European cup holder. What you need is a parts car! That's why you'll be overjoyed to find this pair of Willys Station Wagons, a '51 and a '58, for the survivalist-friendly price tag of one thousand dollars (or a bit more than an ounce of gold, for those of you who fear the Trilateral Commission/Federal Reserve cabal and their so-called "currency"). One of them has a complete-looking Tornado 6-banger (and is "Tornado" one of the best engine names ever or what?), and both have at least half their components; you might even find enough unrusted parts to assemble one good body! Oh yeah, and with a Willys Station Wagon, you don't use a goddamn cup holder for your drink of kiddie sugar-water- you use a canteen full of manly swamp water!
But let's say the SUV/cup holer stigma is so powerful that it manages to taint even such an excellent motor vehicle as the Willys Station Wagon (impossible, but just for the sake of argument). You want cars for your Two-For-One Hell Project, do you? Step right up for this Mercedes/Pontiac deal, folks! For a very optimistic- yet subject to relentless downward negotiating pressure- price tag of $4,000, you could have a 1958 Pontiac "Fire Chief" (we're assuming it's actually a Star Chief or Super Chief) and a 1962 Mercedes-Benz 220. The Benz "has not run in a few years," but we're talking about a car that's just getting broken in at 500,000 miles! How hard could it be to get this Heckflosse rolling again? It's in Reno, so maybe rust isn't a problem... in fact, think of all the things that might not be problems here! Then, once you've finished getting your Mercedes-Benz into perfect condition, you can look forward to many happy decades weeks working on your '58 Pontiac. It "needs engine and rearend," which doesn't make it clear whether you get any rebuildable components. That won't matter, however, because you'll be building up a monster Tri-Power 421 with the biggest, shiniest blower your food money can buy sticking through the hood, and the factory differential might as well be carved from Velveeta when it comes to dealing with all that power. OK, so this project might cost a few bucks, but your Mercedes will give you the requisite feeling of wealth to keep the stress down.
Comments
Project project... Car car... Hell hell... Is there an echo in here?
Willys, gotta have a box car to drive to tha box store.
@graverobber- Same great taste, new low price!: They'll be Echoes in here when the new feature starts: Used Car Lot Hell.
I'm all for the Little Ceasar's twofer of Jeeps! Double the headache, double the fun!
Gotta go with the Mercedes/Pontiac on this one. Too many unknowns, plus there's a German car. Nuff said.
My epitaph:
I bought a Benz in Reno, just to watch it die.
This is Charles Barrett's dream PCH...
Jeeps
No contest, Two Willys beats a Benz and a Poncho.... Just the tought of this gives me the Willys!
When it comes to the PCH, every combo is a true poopoo platter.
Why oh why oh why must you torment me with not one but TWO flippin Willies for a $1000 that just happen to be 1,700 miles away from me.
I'm gonna go cry a little.
@Ω βгåғғ™ ۞: "This is Charles Barrett's dream PCH..."
'Cause I can't resist an offer of two Willies...? I nearly missed that until I started to reply in this comment. Almost went completely over my head (clearly I need to read things out loud...)
Bravo and well-played, sir...!
Willysess
The empty desert lot out in Ridgecrest makes this seem the the setup to a bad horror movie.
A couple of friends head out to the desert to get a good deal on a pair of project cars. They know they're in for Project Car Hell, but they didn't know was that the junkyard lies on a portal to the Dark Realm itself.
I'd pop for the Benz and the Pontiac. If you can't restore them separately, you could use some of the Poncho's chassis and driveline bits to bid a period-look Frankenstein of a funny car out of the Benz (i.e. chop 18" to 24" out of the wheelbase, drop in the blown 421 Murilee alluded to, and slather the doors with gold leaf lettering reading something cool like "Das Boot" or "The Kraut Kannon").
I had to go for the Willys due to a major car shopping error. I went to look at an early Willys wagon with a later F head engine. Not running, $500. I didn't want to buy it if the engine was frozen, so I through a 6 volt battery on it and it spun. Then for the hell of it my friend poured some gas down the carb while we turned it over and it ran. Suddenly this $500 (and really I could have had for almost nothing) Willys had risen in price. What a screw up on my part.
@charles_barrett: thank you sir...
Last thing I want is to deal with a whole bunch of willys jokes. Go for the Pontiac and offload the Benz to offset costs.
Have to go with the Benziac. If you have seen other '58 GM cars, you may notice that they all appear quite smiliar. This is only an illusion. None of these parts are, in fact, interchangable. Beyond this, '58 was a recession, meaning low production, and the '58's did not have quite the collectibility of a lot of the '57 models. The net result of all this means calling up distant boneyards for parts, finding that they have a similar, but not identical, model. You can exchange measurements with the junk man, maybe even photographs. Rest assured, when you get the part, it won't quite fit.
As I already have a '58 Buick, the Pontiac will double, or even triple, my hell (as it seems to be missing some key components). The Benz, while German, may have some serious sleeper hell potential. When the front wheel is buried up to the rim, saying that is "has not run in a few years" may be a bit of an understatement. Bring a shovel and at least two come-alongs.
I almost bought a '63 MBZ 190D a couple months ago, same color as that 220. Almost identical, except it didn't have the stacked lights. It, too, hadn't been run in a few years, but I figured -- despite my lack of technical knowledge -- that I could just spray some oil in the cylinders, and replace the gas and it'd start right up. Later, I kinda came to my senses and decided to call a couple local Benz mechanics about going through it and getting it roadworthy, and they both laughed -- literally laughed -- at my question. One guy said "I hope you have 4 or 5K laying around, 'cause you just might need it," and the other guy said "Did you already pay for it? No? Good, don't buy it!" Sounds like PCH material to me!
The Ponedes Bentiac pair. The asking price is 4 times the Willies.
Therefore, 4 times the hell.
as much as i like the benz, the willys gets my vote. i had a friend years ago that had a willys wagon with a 400/th400 that was truly faster than you ever need. i would be suprised if he was still alive. that guy was a rolls royce mechanic, yet still a good old boy.......beer me
Give me two jeeps i can build one cheap
ALL RIGHT! Sumpin ta sink a tooth into! The Kraut and the Super Chief. If worse come to worst and (assuming you can pull the chassis out of the mud) you get tired of the Benz motor you can rebuild the V8 (assuming it IS a V8) and drop it into the 220...either way at least a decade total work for nothing.
Trust the Jalopnik universe to redefine the phrase:
Gives me the Willys!
@beercheck: Thanks for the nod to Johnny Cash
Definitely the Benz/Poncho Combo Happy Meal. Would you like your unobtanium parts in American flavor or auf Deutsch? Figure you could turn either of them into a LeMons car, take your pick, just allocate all but $500 of the purchase price to the other one to stay within the "rules."
@narf:
I thought the scale was logarithmic.
So, that would be 4 or 8 times the PCH, I think...
Willys! Keep America Strong!
I like Benz, but those early 60's models are ... "not attractive" would be the polite term.
The Willy's wagon is the original, ultimate utility vehicle.
If I can't put the body on a G-Wagen chassis, then at least let me take the drivetrain from an E-Class CDI 4-Matic and swap that in!
(Actually, a diesel Land-Cruise Wagon chassis would work too!)
And one of those mini Air-Stream trailers to tow across the country.
BTW: I've got a project to unload.
a '67 Dodge Power-Wagon truck, all original, V8, 4-spd, DANAs, huge PTO Winch on checker-plate bumper, all original glass and chrome good.
Interior is thrashed and everything mechanical (except steering wheel) guaranteed not to have moved/turned since the 1980s.
Only surface rust on the body, battery missing. Growing plants in the bed, moss on the roof (its on an island on the west coast ... never seen salt)
Way more fun than Chief Two Willies!
Hmm... I'd say the Willys, but you get two. If the goal is to get both running, there you go. If the goal is only one, then two completely unrelated cars are victorious.
@DeadFlorist: Ugliest... Buick... Ever?
Well, pre-Malaise, anyway.
Anyway, you'd get a whole body out of the Jeeps, while you can't even see what you get with the Pontiac. I rest my case.
The Willys guy says he will consider a trade. I confess I have no idea what I would open with on the trade. Would a compound miter saw be excessive? A couple of cases of beer an insult? A sawn off shotgun about right? Way too much stress. Benziac please.
This was a tough choice. I went with the Merc/Pontiac. You could potentially fool yourself into thinking that you could have two decent cars there and try to restore both.
It's been my experience that anything from the '50s that didn't have Chevrolet stamped across the grille is absolute hell to restore...
The W111 and the Pontiac are actually cool vehicles that will make the owner the subject of much praise and adulation after restoration.
The Willys will still look like Jeeps.
Voted Willys. An endless road with no pot of gold at the end!
Okay, who fancies turning the phrase 'PCH Trophy' into an oily, metallic reality?
Has to be easier than actually working on any of these projects.
Oh, and an awards ceremony, natch.
Willys, natch.
I gotta show the love for a 58 Poncho, but the Willys are WAGONS, man.
I reckon' a big block'll fit in the Willys.
Start a discussion:
Login with your username and password below. Or comment on this post via email.
Forgot your username or password? New User?