Why you should buy this car:
You want a luxury SUV that isn't blinged out or foreign. Your expectation of what luxury entails is fairly low. You don't like driving but you're too lazy to ride a bicycle. You give money to groups that support eco-friendly candidates but you don't actually vote.

Why you shouldn't buy this car:
You live by the motto "between here and there is better than either here or there." You spent $30,000 on your last five cars, combined. You're holding out for a diesel version. You realize it ain't this easy being green; making a meaningful reduction in your own environmental impact requires the kind of sacrifice and commitment that can't be achieved by driving a luxury SUV. You couldn't give a damn about the previous sentence.

Suitability Parameters:
Speed Merchants: No
Fashion Victims: Yes
Treehuggers: Yes
Mack Daddies: No
Tuner Crowd: No
Hairdressers: Yes
Penny Pinchers: No
Euro Snobs: No
Working Stiffs: No
Technogeeks: No
Poseurs: Yes
Soccer Moms: Yes
Nascar Dads: No
Golfing Grandparents: Yes

Also Consider:
• Toyota Highlander Hybrid
• Toyota Prius
• Lexus RX400h
• Chevy Tahoe Hybrid
• Saturn VUE Green Line
• Visiting New Orleans to help rebuild houses for lower-middle-class white people

Vitals:
• Manufacturer: Mercury
• Model tested: Mariner Hybrid
• Model year: 2008
• Base Price: $25,765
• Price as Tested: $31,000
• Engine type: 2.3-Liter I4 Electric Hybrid
• Horsepower: 133 (gas) + 94 (electric)
• Torque: 152lb/ft @ 4,250 RPM
• Transmission: Electronic CVT
• Curb Weight: 3,638 lbs
• LxWxH: 174.7" x 71.1" x 68.0"
• Wheelbase: 103.1"
• Tires: P235/70R16
• Drive type: FWD
• 0 - 60 mph: 10.7 Seconds
• 1/4-mile: 17.8 seconds
• EPA Fuel economy city/highway: 34/30
* Jalopnik Average: 26.1
• NHTSA crash test rating: N/A

Also see:

• 2008 Mercury Mariner Hybrid, Part One
• 2008 Mercury Mariner Hybrid, Part Two

All of our reviews are always available by clicking the Jalopnik Reviews tag in the masthead.

Send an email to Matt Hardigree, the author of this post, at matt@jalopnik.com.