Jalopnik
As fun, heart-warming and informative as today's QOTD lovefest was, it took a true Jalopnik spirit to remind us of that delicate blend of wit, insight and bite that keeps us reading, writing and commenting. Though we don't often admit it, we owe this style to Ambrose Bierce, Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain and, more recently, the writer and critic Dorothy Parker. She famously said that if you wanted to know what God thought of money, look at the people he gave it to. And by this she very well could have been talking about the Ford family.
In that vein, we include this appropriate tribute from our own Charles Barrett, who is a lot like Dorothy Parker, though one with better luck in the men department.
The high level of literacy of the entire Jalopnik community is absolutely what keeps me coming back; many allusions go right over my head, but I can tell by other Commenter's remarks that I have been witness to something funny and/or sublimely ironic and/or politically relevant and/or pop-culture referential.Can I be Groucho Marx?It's kind of like a huge, global Algonquin Round Table for auto enthusiasts, and we each get a chance to be Robert Benchley or Dorothy Parker.
[photo: DorthyParker.com]
Comments
Wow... I mean just, wow... Now I don't have to feel like a fraud who fooled Murilee into granting me Commenter status...
I recently made a sign for a Horticultural library. Dorothy was very much on my mind that week. Have someone from Gizmodo explain that comment.
There was a multitude of great comments today, and this one was the cream of the crop. It's not everyday there was such a rich selection to choose from.... Bravo all!
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH CHARLES!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOHOHOOOOOOO!
I raise my glass to toast the Jalopnik community, since, as Dorothy put it:
"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker..."
way to go bro
Well done Charles.
WTF? Is he allowed? He already has a Star. No fair...
[a6.vox.com]
Good job Charles. You earned that martini today.
Charles, well earned! this I feel would have been a good day to have done the cop-out "everybody wins" COTD they did last month(?)- as QOTD had everyone in unison being just Jaloptastic.
Congrats mate.
I'm barely literate, but hey, happy to be here I is!
@SLRStarless: If I'm not mistaken, this is Charles' first COTD!
By far not the first time he has deserved one, but the first on record.
Congratulations! Well done
does this mean that if we write about the JFK coverup we're gonna get offed like Dorothy too?
ah crap. that was dorothy kilgallen. i'll remove myself from the round table.
@way2bee: By "Horticulture" are you alluding to the old saying that "you can lead a whore to culture; but you can't make her think"?
Not a new boy in the neighborhood
Lives on Jalop and it's understood.
He's there just to make good comments you see,
And now he's one of the COTD family.
Charles in Charge
Comments through our days and our nights
Charles in Charge
Blesses us with his witty delights
And we sing, we want,
Charles as the truckin' COTD.
Charles in Charge
Comments through our days and our nights
Charles in Charge
Blesses us with his witty delights
And we sing, we want,
Charles as the truckin' COTD
It would appear that references to how literate the Jalopnik commenters are has elicited attempts to disprove that very fact...
@AndyDuncan: I always quote Ralph as saying "my cat's breath smells like cat poo". dunno which is correct, but mine's funnier.
....at least I think so.
OK, for us great unwashed, WTF is Dorthy Parker?
@abgwin: Cat Food is the correct way... though Cat Poo is indeed funny.
@smokeydog001: You might be unwashed, but that doesn't mean you can't get your ass to Google.com.
@Ω βгåғғ™ ۞: Groovy tunage earlier on the love-fest, by the way.
I put it on while making dinner for two screaming lunatic children.
Music doth indeed calm the savage beasties, they were hypnotized!
@smokeydog001: Look her up on Wikipedia. She was part of the New York literary elite in the early part of the 20th century. She was depressed and suicidal, and unquestionably a genious. She and Robert Benchly were charter editors for The New Yorker. Some of her more memorable quips:
"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker"
"Use horticulture in a sntence"
"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think"
and my favorite:
"Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live."
@charles_barrett: Sounds like POLAЯ's kinda girl.
We could hang out and try to out weird one another.
You got it Goatroper - and just as an aside, if one insinuates that the writers of these pages are anything less than literate, one will be banned. BANNED, I tells ya!
So, Jalops, your writing is every bit as shiny as the late Ms. Parker and your wit is even more sparkly. Long may you lord it over us...
@POLAЯ: Boy, you know you've really arrived at Jalopnik when POLAR crafts an ode to you... now I hate Scott Baio a little bit less than all my fellow "Charles in Charge" victims...
@charles_barrett: this, amongst many others of yours, is a comment that is very worthy of this distinguishment!
congrats to you, you witty, starred, intelligent man, you!
@buckyworld:
We all know JFK was a machine. [www.superdeluxe.com]
Mencken. Don't forget Mencken.
Congrats.
Also, I find it terribly ironic, (or perhaps more coincedence depending on your intent) that your comment on things going over your head, is chock full of references that went right over my head, (and many others I'd guess as well).
@charles_barrett:
'candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker'
okay... how silly do i feel now for just getting the willy wonka reference to that quote.. (*long live gene wilder*) i did not realze that was such a prestigious qoute..
@POLAЯ: You can get the original on iTunes... the real artists name is Carly Commando and the song is called Everday.
I have it as a ringtone option on my phone but it comes in a little too quiet... so I had to switch it to Rick Ross' Hustlin'
@Ω βгåғғ™ ۞:
I spin Rick Ross an' I'll hafta watch myself,
'Cause my girls will be pullin' da AKs off the shelf!
@Ω βгåғғ™ ۞: Oh and thanks for the tip, I'm jotting that one down.
@chrystlubitshi: See what a multi-layered confection Jalopnik is. Someone makes a comment that leaves me scratching my head, and the next comment shouts COTD! in caps, and I am *still* scratching my head. I shall never again be afraid of revealing the weak spots in my knowledge...
To all Jalops: The only "stupid" question is the one that goes unasked (and thus unanswered). Don't fear to ask questions, since on the whole we do not 'flame' or belittle those who need some more info to some of our incredibly esoteric crumbs of knowledge.
@charles_barrett: You and I arrived here the same month last year, brother!
Ain't no difference.
We're like Jalopamese twins,
only separated,
and you're older,
and far away.
Oh, and I picked the Charles in Charge thing just for the cheese factor.
@chrystlubitshi: And of course, thank you very much for the effusive praise. I'm on cloud nine this afternoon (SoCal time).
@POLAЯ: I still pronounce 'style' as 'steeel', just in his honor.
@voodoojoo: You should really be careful,
or you might wind up dressing like the Tin Man
@POLAЯ: I had been lurking here for months, then Murilee had made mention of the 'skull-and-driveshaft' graphic, and I e-mailed him asking for it. A couple of exchanges later, and he asked if I wanted to join the Commenters (I steered him to the retail website where I have been posting porn reviews for a few years now, so he could sample my prose style). He granted me entry to the Gawker Media Commenter fold, and here I am to this day. To be clear, Murilee is as straight as an arrow, but he grew up in a very liberal part of the nation, so he had a big "meh" about my being gay. And I've been an enthusiastic Jalop ever since...
@charles_barrett: I clink my glass of pinotage in your general direction.
@charles_barrett: I'd bang ya! What do the kids say,
"In a hetero kinda way that is, if ya know what I mean."
I dunno, somethin' didn't go right for me there...
@charles_barrett:
She sounds like one of my cousins that ran off to NY at an early age to escape marring within the family! You, sir have enlightened me, I always thought "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker" was from W. C. Fields.
Uh, that would be "marrying" within the family.
There's something drop-dead sexy about a man who can quote de Tocqueville, and still resolder your loose connections when you get a short. I quote from Wiki:
"Plug and socket connectors:
Plug and socket connectors are usually made up of a male plug and a female socket, although hermaphroditic connectors exist, such as the original IBM token ring LAN connector. Plugs generally have one or more pins or prongs that are inserted into openings in the mating socket. The connection between the mating metal parts must be sufficiently tight to make a good electrical connection and complete the circuit. When working with multi-pin connectors, it is helpful to have a pinout diagram to identify the wire or circuit node connected to each pin..."
You go Charles.
Since you brought up the Algonquin roundtable, I think Mary McCarthy's estimation of roundtable participant and literary executor of Parker's estate Lillian Hellman deserves consideration for comment of the century:
"Everything she wrote is a lie, including "and" and "the"."
@smokeydog001: Aack! It's from Ogden Nash...! I screwed up!!! The Horticulture and the Suicide quips here are Dorothy's along with a truckload of others, but I just Googled the "Candy is Dandy..." and came up with Ogden Nash...! Mea culpa! Everything else about the Algonquin Round Table is authentic, I promise...
@chrystlubitshi: I owe you an apology... Although Willie Wonka didn't originate it, neither did Dorothy. My bad, bad, bad...!