Pesach is coming, my friend. Clearly, this car is not kosher. Therefore he must acquire something kashrut that may be driven during this yearly tradition.

Cinco de Mayo?

That jelly bean's dropped far enough for Ron Reagan to reach up and grab a bite.

Sorry to do this to you guys, but there's only one thing I think when I read the words "holiday" and "station wagon" in close proximity:

"Holiday Ro-o-o-o-oad! Holiday Road!"

Everybody sing!

That is craptastic! At least it is priced accordingly.

It's got potential, anyway.

Those are the most utilitarian dubs I've ever seen. I didn't even know they came in anything other than 15x8.

Hell yeah mang,
get you a sawzall and make it a-mino.

I'd prefer enough ride height to fit $1540 worth of twenties underneath the car, but B-bodies of any kind are scarce around here (I'd be as likely to find an Impala SS under ten grand).

Oh, and my calender shows two coming holidays; Passover, and Administrative Professionals Day. I'm betting they're selling it to celebrate the latter.

Obviously you're not racing fans. Memorial Day is rapidly approaching. Er.. in the next month or so. IDIOTS! I quit Jalopnik. They'll let any lady who professes an interest in cars write a post. I quit I say! Sort of.

Any reason this was photographed in Spectre-Vision? I've seen better detail in chupacabre and ghost pictures.

@Bauhaus: I hate you.

@Novaload: To hide the massive body damage, fist-sized gaping rust holes, and entire missing rear C-pillar that was sheared off by inexplicable and presumably extraterrestrial forces.

Terrifying.

To clarify: The shot of the suspension "engineering" is terrifying. Particularly chilling is the loose component clearly meant to be bolted into the empty bracket. I bet the "fuel cell" is plumbed with flexible pvc. Left over from when they installed an ice maker.

Looks like just what I need to haul around my red Orthodox Easter eggs.

Anyone care to explain the suspension?

@dculberson: The icemaker closes the deal for me.

This caprice is crapice, capiche?

That Three Link is the Missing Link.

Clearly the holiday of which they speak is Earth Day (4/22)

Hey, this is just a few miles away from me. That's sad.

I'm going to guess that extra 4/20 funds were required.

@13oostedwgn: ugh, that was really bad..... but funny!

@13oostedwgn: say that 3 times fast....

"lays on 20's" is that referring to centimeters?

This really, really should have been a PCH canidate.

Looks like Stevie Wonder did the welding

@JayP71:

Yeah, find a first gen Taurus with gaudy rims and bubbling window tint to put it up against and you'll have the most depressing PCH ever, beating out even this one: [jalopnik.com]

Gotta be Passover... Just call the seller up and ask for a test drive after sundown on a Friday night... His reaction should confirm or deny this...

Fourth of July, you unpatriotic heathens.

He's obviously trying to scare up cash to put towards a few cases of PBR and the biggest goddamn firework you've ever seen.

Wonder how many packs of cigarettes this car will buy him in prison...

@smalleyxb122: you kidding? I sold a 95 LT1 350 9c1 caprice in 06 for $1,000. Sure the car had 192k on it but it ran well.

the 4.3 305 sucked, couldn't accelerate itself out of a paper bag

I have a 350-powered (but not LT1) Roadmaster wagon in the driveway that I traded a $250 Honda Civic for. It's got leather, power seats, and climate control for goodness sake!!

(Granted, the leather feels like it came from 87-year-old arthritic cows...)