Jalopnik
Can an American car- even a 60-year-old American car made by a long-defunct manufacturer- compete with an entry PCH Superpower Italy? Not according to our most recent Choose Your Eternity poll, in which the '38 Studebaker Dictator lost out to the '68 OTAS 820. That might have something to do with the fact that most of the OTAS now resides in the belly of the Rust Monster, but it also points out just how tough it is to beat a PCH Superpower. However, Project Car Hell is all about beating your unstoppable head against an immobile brick wall, forever, so we're coming right back with another Italy-versus-America matchup. And not just your quotidian-type X-1/9-versus-Pacer deal, oh no- today we're plunging headfirst into the molten sulfur of Custom Stretch Limo Hell!
Ah, the custom stretch limo! Conjures up treasured memories of projectile-vomiting Bacardi 151 all over your prom date's Very Expensive Dress, don't it? Keep in mind, however, that renting a custom stretch is one thing... but owning one takes the whole Limo Experience to a new, even classier level. But stretched Town Cars or even Hummers are a dime-a-dozen; you need something as cool as the Toronado Limowagon if you want to haul your entourage in the style to which they're no doubt totally unaccustomed. Something with fins. Something like this 1957 Chrysler Windsor 8-door airport limo (go here if the ad disappears), which is priced at a get-your-eyes-checked $4,500! The seller figures there's no need to waste time listing everything wrong with this car; instead, he or she has posted a single hazy photograph and included the following two sentences of description: "Looks like Christine, the killer car. Needs complete restoration." There you have it! So many questions unanswered (and, by the way, wasn't Christine a '58? And a Plymouth?), but we're pretty sure you can count on any question involving synonyms for "iron oxide" being answered in the affirmative. But put on your triple-thickness rose-colored glasses and picture yourself behind the wheel of this car after a full bank account and sanity depleting restoration, trying to see around that enormous blower you'll have perched on top of a gasser-style 392 Hemi!
An 8-71-blown Hemi '57 Chrysler limo would be the bee's nuts indeed, but what if you rumble up to Wet T-Shirt Night at Rohypnol Ron's and, just as your betuxed homies pop open all those doors and get ready for a truly grand entrance, a dissenting voice from the awestruck crowd cries out "But that's an airport limo!" and then the spell is broken? What then? Well, you could play the trump card of a series of hemi-powered Limo Donuts in the parking lot... but what if you'd taken on a different stretch limo project? What if you'd purchased a custom stretch Ferrari? And not some Fiero-based "Ferrari" but the real deal? You'd think such a thing would be impossible to find, but just check out this 1981 Ferrari 400i stretch limo (go here if the ad disappears) and then try to tell us that the American Dream isn't alive and well! That's right, a stretch V12-powered Ferrari! It's a lot more expensive than the Chrysler, and the seller says it's "mechanically sound, clean but can use some minor cosmetic work." But come on, a 27-year-old Italian car that's been hacked up and then driven at 12MPH while the interior gets hosed down with every bodily fluid that Newport Beach promgoers and 4th-tier celebrities can emit? Hell!
Comments
Ferrari stretch limo
NEXT.
I'm all over that Chrysler...cept it looks more like a DeSoto....The Chrysler had Quad headlamps...this looks like it has duals. And Yes, Christine was a 58. But I'd still totally pin Buddy Reperton into a brick wall with this limo once done!
Wow, Christine's really put on a few pounds since high school.
Does the Ferrari come with a lawsuit?
I voted for the Chrysler Limo, but it looks NOTHING like Christine. She had bigger fins and was a 2door Fury. And now, ask my why I care about this....sigh....
Got to be the Mopar, whatever it really is. Chop out the center section, maybe all the way down to a two seater, chop off the roof, put on a speedster windshield, and there you go. Or, keep chopping, get it into pieces small enough to be hauled off in a dumpster and life would become very simple...
400i. Yeah. Charlie Babbitt lets me drive it in the driveway. Charlie Babbitt lets me drive it in the driveway. I'm an excellent driver. Yeah.
Stretch limos are quintessential Americana. Turning a Ferrari into one not only ruins the Ferrari, it also ruins the concept. Besides, eight doors and E pillars!
Chrysler > Ferrari (stretch versions only)
I'd say a 400i is, in fact a "Ferrari"
And as such I will go with the Chrysler. Blower + fender headers = Hod Rod Orgy
(Hod Rod Orgy sounds like the name of a Reverend Horton Heat album)
Normally I'd go with the Mopar but the Ferrari looks pretty good and is priced reasonably. Wouldn't be bad to own.
Chrysler. I'd be surprised if there's even a square inch of floorpan left. Then there's the whole trim parts thing...
Ferrari -- not only does it cost more to buy outright this very moment, but parts to keep it alive will help keep you above the Chrysler in nearly every category.
At least with the Chrysler you could get an actual Chrysler-made big block crate motor and find used / junkyard / NOS parts from the appropriate era.
That Ferrari just begs you to not even drive it at all for fear that something will snap into at least 7 pieces.
I voted Ferrari assuming that the chorded telephone is included, as well as the bag of blow.
@Mark Arnold: Fuck yeah.
That plus a bag of coke, bottle of cold duck, and a couple "laydees of the night".
For a minute, I thought that was a Rover SD1 limo.
Which is at least as much hell as the other two put together.
Desoto.
Quad headlights weren't allowed, officially, until '58, hence, to 7" headlamps.
I'd seal up the four extra middle doors on each side, drop a seriously tweaked 6.1L into it, then find a parking lot the size of a football field so as to perform proper doughnutage...
Why is the Desoto Hell? Late-50's "Mopars" were rust magnets. I'm surprised there aren't rot-holes in the roof of this one.
Even comes with wide whites!!!
The Ferrari. Because going to prom in a Ferrari limo would guarantee a lady on each of your limbs. Going to prom in an old Chrysler airport limo means going stag and standing in the corner with your loser friend Desmond that has a lisp.
Sorry, sorry...Chrysler Windsor, not Desoto.
It's been an odd day.
i liked the ferari miami vice limo!!!
the ferrari 400i limo.
Chrysler limo. All. The. Way.
One will certainly look high class and be envied at every fine establishment that one arrives at in said Mopar limo.
The horribly butchered Ferrari will only serve to make one look silly and over ambitious.
@Kelly: Then why am I finding this stuf:
[auto.howstuffworks.com]
[www.usacarclub.net]
the Ferrari limo just made me lose faith in mankind
No, the Ferrari is in too good of shape for PCH, even if it is Italian. Gotta go with the rustacular Windsor to stay with the PCH ethos.
I hate to be un-american, but im guessing that ferrari comes with some crystal and lines of coke all ready to go?
@Bento:
Yeah, I know. The '57 300D had quad headlights, too. It wasn't a hard-and-fast rule, not like we think of it. Kinda like how the '86 Mustang SVO had 'euro-style' flush headlights instead of the DOT-approved garbage mandated at the time.
@Bento: Headlights were governed by state regulation, and not all 48 states had approved quad headlights in 1957. If I understand correctly, a customer's new '57 Chrysler was delivered with headlights appropriate for the state of delivery. All the states had approved quads in time for '58 models.
I really wanted to go for the Chrysler, especially after a poor showing for American cars in the Star Car Shootout.
But a '70s wedge limo that's less reliable than a Lagonda? And a real bargain at $25k, when there's a clean low-mileage non-chopped '89 412i on eBay for maybe £12k.
If it's true about a fool and his money, it might as well be a bucket full.
I'm ordinarily a firm believer is large American iron, but the Ferrari just somehow punches the right buttons for me. The cathouse interior and the corded phone took it over the edge. That's the Jalopnik staff car.
A black on black Eisenhower-era super stretch with wide white walls is so unbelievably cool that it seems totally worth it to undertake a ground-up restoration of 30 foot long 50 year old behemoth that I will neither be able to store not get parts for.
The coolness to practicality ratio is especially lopsided with this one. Do want.
the more coolest limousine would had been the Imperial Crown Ghia limousine done at Ghia's plant from 1957 to 1965, here some pics of a 1957 model
[www.imperialclub.com]
The Chrysler, in case you're landlocked and have never seen a Liberty Ship.
The Ferrari's not worthy of project car hell! It's probably as nice an example as you'll ever find of a 30-year old Ferrari that was hacked in two pieces by some guy and then welded back together! It's for sale for as much as a pretty nice regular 400i costs (sadly)! The Chrysler on the other hand...
Nothing is more true to the PCH spirit than an ad where the only exposition compares the car to a fictional killer - and the comparison isn't even correct!
What "airport limo"? Nowhere in the ad does the word "airport" appear. So for all we know, this could be 'the limo to whatever stars happen to live in southern New Hampshire'. So take that and shove it up your ass you night-clubbin', Ferrari-lovin' snobs.
Even so, I'm choo-choo-choosing the Chrysler for eternal hell-dom. Look at all those doors, any or all of which could fall to the ground-or on your date's foot-at any time, no warning given.
Eyetaliano always beats Americano for pure hell. No matter how old, bizzare or or rusted the American metal is.
End of discussion.
The Chrysler limo reminds me of a haunted house
Ferrari.Stretch.Limo! The quality of the ride must be amazing.
The Chrysler is bad enough, but the Ferrari is a 400i. Could it be lamer? Yes, but only if Magnum himself climbed out.
A 50-year-old Mopar in the woods of northern New England- how much more hell could one possibly want? No matter how the poll turns out, the Chrysler wins. Village Idiot and stuntdriver know the truth.
The 400i-i-i is just so wrong, but, man, it's 25 grand, and it runs. You could make money with that thing in all kinds of distasteful ways, with little more than the original investment and a couple cans of Lysol. It deserves its own circle of hell, but it's not project car hell.
The $4500 for that Chrysler, however, is 100% guaranteed money down the drain. Mopar all the way.
On second thought, if you have that much money to burn, a little imagination, and even less respect for tradition than the guys who designed the 400i or the ones who made a limo out of it, it must be said:
Ferraramino.
There's nothing to do for the Ferrari--that's as good as it gets. Drive it, love it, wreck it.
But the Mopar! It could hold TWO of those little Ferraris. 8--count 'em--doors! Fins! Turn it into a wagon from hell, turn it into a camper or a rec room attached to your house. Rent it out!
Mopar!
That's right, a stretch V12-powered Ferrari! <--- As seen in Girls gone wild. I wonder if Max rode to the S&M Flat in one of these.
You will not find one part for either car, but the parts you have to fab will be more expensive for the Ferrari.
At face value, the Chrysler is the bigger hell. It's older, rustier, and more limoified.
But the Ferrari - it's the half-hour mark in an episode of Behind the Music, it's all downhill from there. Between the coke-fueled haze, the parts made of unobtanium (except for that automatic transmission, the only part that'll ever work fine), and the sad knowlege that you'd be better off building yourself a Mazda Cosmo limo (the one that looks like a 400i funnelled through anime design), it will never be as good as the high you get when you slap down your $25k.
@danio3834: All the more reason to vote for it.
The whole concept of a Ferrari limo is just wrong as far as I'm concerned, and not that good "Hayabusa Isetta with rocket axle" kind of wrong. So I'll take the Windsor.
That said, un-stretching a Ferrari limo back to a regular two door would be a pretty good dose of PCH.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
You guys let the dictator go?
The Ferrari, and I'll give you two grand for it.
I'm going with the Ferrari.
PCH requires a car to be cool. An 80s Ferrari hamfistedly mangled into something that vaguely resembles a limousine was never cool. Check out that impassable driveshaft tunnel!
@wm_de_hooning:
Dude, you made me snort part of a sinus membrane out of my nose with that....
How can the vote be so close?!
Come on. It's MoPar or NO CAR.
Even though the Ferrari would have TONS of issues, it at least runs. And nothing is said about the running state of the Chrysler. Plus the words "Needs complete restoration" say it all...
You've got to go with the Ferrari. With the Chrysler there were others built and there is a slight chance that MoPar people would be willing to A)speak to you and B)sell you parts at astronomical expense. With the Ferrari you will be disowned by corporate HQ, and may even get a lawsuit thrown in to boot.
If you think the DMV is tough to deal with, try Italian "Lawyers".
@powermatic: Big American sedan with 8 doors = airport limo. Not that there's anything wrong with that.