Jalopnik
Although readers to the site have long known BMW and Flowbee International were working on a partnership, with these spy photos we can finally show you definitive proof. That's right — the new 2009 BMW 7-series sedan will come with an exclusive optional Flowbee package. Yes, although driving and haircuts at the same time may seem like magic or something out of a dream — it's real and here's proof it's coming soon. No word yet on whether it will include the rumored "underbrush volumizer," "pet comb" or "hair spacer" attachments, but our sources tell us the package will cost just $59.95. Of course that doesn't include shipping and handling. Full spy report from KGP below the jump.
It looks like this BMW 7-series prototype has some plumbing issues. We don't know what to make of this test, which has yards of tubing emanating from the engine and apparently being routed to a collection device in the front seat. It looks like a Bavarian Shop Vac from hell, but we suspect there is something a bit more technologically advanced going on. Sadly, that's the extent of our knowledge on just what's being tested here. It might make for an ideal "Add Your Own Caption" story, however.
Comments
I can see that it sucks, but where does it cut?
It is easier to commit suicide in your car by driving it into a tree.
@deskman: That's it, you're done here.
So BMW is going to the NOPI show this year?
@Ray Wert: But really who can get too much Dart commentary. Isn't this website Dartlopnik?
For some reason the lead photo is legitimately terrifying to me. Not in an SLR Mule, it's totally bad ass kind of way either. It actually scares me. I am going to crawl under my desk until a prettier post comes up.
@Ray Wert: C'mon Ray, I think he was about to tell us more about his slant six Dart.
It's rush week at Munich Polytechnic. Your daughters are save but lock up your car!
Are you sure this is not the new Kevorkian edition? This way, instead us sitting in a boring garage while waiting for the carbon monoxide to work its peace giving magic, you can enjoy a final ride in the Ultimate Driving Machine while heading into the here-after. There may be some safety issues BMW may need to work out for other motorists. Just because the driver of the new BMW 750iK wants to off themselves does not mean that those sharing the road should be put in danger by cars with corpese at the helm. Perhaps this could be solved, by an automatic "kill" switch for the vehicles once the driver is out. They could work out a joint venture with Volvo, which already has heartbeat sensing technology, although for a much different reason.
Chris Bangle pushes the envelope again, with Dryer Hose Surfacing.
This is BMW's reaction to the well recieved twin turbo 335i. Massive turbo ducting for everything!
@thatguy01:
C O T F'n D.
@teargas: It is kind of scary. It's like the facehugger from Alien attached itself to a 7 series. I'm anxious to see what ends up bursting through that hood. It can't look any worse than the current 750i.
It certainly does suck.
Have I ever told you guys about my slant six Dart?
@Ray Wert: I, for one, welcome the demise of our new Dart overlord.
That's just a 7-series intestine mode.
See, they've re-routed the nitrous system to the cabin for double pleasure. Brilliant!
@Buckster: Good god -- it's like a virus and it's spreading.
I wonder if they read this for the idea?
[www.bimmers.com]
@Ray Wert: I would suggest that the spreading part is integral to the being-like-a-virus dart.
I mean part.
Wait... what did he say that brought down the axe?
Damn its gonna suck accidentally getting a hair cut while trying to dial in the sport suspension setting on the I-Drive.
@SwatLax:
My thought as well. The quote was gone when I got here.
Wad he say, wad he say?!!
@piththeelder:
Could it be I-Suck?
Indiana: There's a big snake on the car, Jock.
Jock: Oh, that's just my pet snake Reggie.
Indiana: I hate snakes, Jock. I hate 'em.
Jock: C'mon, show a little backbone, will ya?
Oh nooos I miss the little troll already.
@CEman: I only saw it for a moment. I think it was something about BMW stealing an idea he had for his slant six Dart.
C'mon Wes, clearly this is a 7 series in rare Mega Maid trim...having failed to conquer Europe, the Germans have set their cold blue eyes on Planet Druidia's oxygen supply...
I see that Direct Exhaust Injection system was picked up by BMW.
@AlfaCharger: Only a heartless person could cut a whole in the hood of that sweet E30.
In the background was a big walker from the Matrix aiming a shot to blast that squid thing off the hood.
At least I finally know where my multi person beer bong went after I left it in the dorm on move out day.
The BMW Medusa Edition: And you thought the ass end was ugly!
@SwatLax: @CEman:
All of his comments were about his "Slant Six Dodge Dart", Wert warned him yesterday.
The comment itself was just a random blathering about his Dodge Dart.
BMW fired Bangle and hired Dyson?
BMW decided to out-rice the 'ricers' and put one killer cold air intake system on the newest ride...gives a 7bhp gain thru out the rpm range and is machine washable
@BLS: "The comment itself was just a random blathering about his Dodge Dart."
Man, if that's a problem around here I'm in big trouble.
now if they can figure which pipe to inject the laughing gas into, other than the onlookers from other cars, they might be on to some thing
The BMW "Brazil" 7-Series, designed by Terry Gilliam.
Tentacle porn.
@13oostedwgn: ditto, COTD
@SwatLax: Judging from your avatar photo, it looks like you've had a personal run-in with this BMW test mule. What's the inside scoop?
Me, I'm going to wait till they can get this baby up to ludicrous speed. Then I'm going plaid.
@TPSreports: NICE!
Wonder what happens when it hits 88 mph... That looks like a possible flux capacitor attachment.
WTF... This looks to be an M model, possible M7??? You can tell by the M front bumper and the rear exit Exhaust. Up to this point all 7 series cars have had the exhaust exit under the car, even the V-12s. The hoses may in fact be added cooling for whatever beast is lurking under the slightly buldged hood.
BMW still having no luck marketing to the chosen people.
Too long has the real hardware of automotive technology been hidden under steel sheet and fiberglass. Cars of the near future will "let it all hang out" with external plumbing, wiring and other hardware. The prototype we see here is only the beginning. And the Germans, of course, are in the lead on this but the Japanese will be the first to put it into production.
Also note that if you follow the link to the prototype you will notice that the rear exhaust is missing, and as well as it has the angular mirrors and this one has rounded ones which are associated with all M models.
Does this come with the circumcision feature as well?
"Hi there. I'd like to talk to you about ducts."
@TPSreports: Damn, sorry about that.
Note to self: read the whole frikkin' entry before you post, S_H.
The surgeons performing liposuction on the new and bloated BMW 7-series apparently forgot to suture its belly and its content back in its place, and let the patient go...
@TR3-A: The Centre Pompidou of automobiles!
Heard about this: Too much boost, and you'll herniate you pluming!
Nice fine hand-crafted hood, what they use the wrong end of a ball-peen hammer?
Possibly related to this twin-turbo V8 craziness?
[www.bimmerfest.com]
Maybe the car's not plumbed for those tiny water-to-air intercoolers, so they rigged up something completely horrendous? A water-to-air intercooler submerged in a big can of water on the passenger seat?
@Sth002000:
That's a COTD!!
I wonder if it's some sort of waste-heat collection system. BMW did play around with steam-hybrids at one point, no?
The Ron Popeil edition 7-series.
@TR3-A: The Germans will introduce it first, as a $10K option (like their cunning strategy of charging extra for "performance options" like manual transmissions and simply leaving stuff out of the car).
A few months later, the Japanese then will simultaneously make it standard and slightly lower the base price of the car at the same time.
After hearing of Chrysler's plans to add internet access to their vehicles, BMW is rapidly prototyping their own solution with help from Senator Ted Stevens.
Search YouTube for "series of tubes" if the above post makes no sense to you.
...and it's crevans into the lead.
"...And in other news, automotive engineers world-wide are concerned about the recent appearance of a rare horsepower-sapping automotive parasite... they have dubbed it the Bavarian Motor Worm, or BMW for short..."