Jalopnik
We were all set to hand out the Commenter of the Day prize this afternoon. Seriously — all ready to go. We were pleased with our choice, but not overly so — but we hit publish anyway. And it was just as we hit the big red button sending the award straight to the front page that we saw the true grail, teasing us from the bottom of today's Question of the Day all about our man DB Cooper and the money he took. It was calling out to us, teasing us like a white piece of fabric stuck in the pebble stones, hinting at the parachute that may or may not be underneath. In fact, it was so good it even engendered a response from Dr.Danger worthy of besting the original choice, but still paling in comparison to today's prize-worthy entry — an entry able to put into words exactly why we were so keen on a QOTD starring the man who parachuted from the heavens, suitcase of cash strapped to his chest.
The winner today is Armand4:
If DB Cooper was a true Jalop, he would have taken the recently introduced Citroen SM. Set the suspension to full height to get through the woods, then lower it once you get to the highway and cruise to Canada at 125 miles an hour. The leggy brunette flight attendant, however, is an excellent idea.See — that's why we love the idea of DB — he came up with an amazingly brilliant and yet totally awkward attempt at making his dreams of fortune come true. He shot for the stars and then fell back to earth — kind of like any of us with our project cars. True, our dreams may never be met, but dammit, we're going to try, aren't we? So we're gonna think like Armand4 — we hope DB had that Citroen SM sitting at the side of the road, loose leggy brunette sitting shotgun — if only because we're hoping if he was able to live the dream, so can we.
Comments
Good call that. For all we know, Cooper could be here, commenting on Jalopnik with the rest of us, fighting back the urge to post "Citroen SM my cold, wet ass! After having most of my clothes blown off at 30,000 feet, trying to guide my parachute with my teeth while holding onto my money and suffering a bone-jarring landing in the middle of bum-f**k egypt, I had to hike outta' there on my bare feet. Not only that but I was chased by two dogs that wanted to eat my nuts, had to steal some clothes off of a clothes line, and all I could find was some hippie women's mumu, and then had to take a flippin' Bus back to seattle so I could use the 200 gees to realize my dream; opening up the worlds first chain of gourmet coffee shops- Starbucks."
And I was really looking forward to having Carl Kasell on my answering machine too.
Oh no you di'nt...!
You REMOVED the previously proclaimed COTD post...? Isn't there enough Jalop love to go around to have co-COTDs under these kinds of circumstances? To snatch defeat from the jaws of victory just seems cruel... you know how coveted the COTD title is (for no real good reason that I can discern, BTW) amongst the core constituents.
Bad umpire! Bad, bad umpire...!
Everyone knows that Starbucks is run by the illumina - SAINTS PRESERVE ME! THEY'RE - AAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH!
@graverobber:
If that doesn't get the COTD from within the COTD thread I've been waiting for (because it's just so meta), nothing ever will.
Made me properly laugh out loud, that did.
i picked up db cooper in my dart.
i had to slow the dart down so he could lower a rope from the plane.
we used a cb to to get our 20's coridinated and started at the basement and worked our way up.
@charles_barrett: The competition is, you know, quite cutthroat, yes. But -- our site, our rules.
@deskman: Just a dart theme today, eh? You know, odds are these days, that if I DART around Jalopnik, I'm likely to run into some form of DART, like a DART hitting a bullseye on a DARTboard. Truly, I kid. And in summary, my dart ate my post.
@Ray Wert: that my friends is known as KOTCS - king Of The Castle Syndrome not to be confused with KOTAS
Congrats to Armand4
@voodoojoo:
slant six darts are the next big thing at barrett jackson.
...but back to the COTD. I too wish to be among the elite and to win this award. The award itself couldn't really be shared because no one I know in the real world even knows I'm here. Having said that, I often get a sense of well being just seeing my comment in the "Latest By..." portion of the page. For that I say, "Thanks"
Now tell us who it was going to be before Armand4 stole our thunder!
@Ray Wert: Never would I question your ability to make and enforce rules... I just hate to see anybody leave the playground after recess stifling their tears of disappointment... ;-P
...And in case anyone is wondering, I was never the object of bullying in grade school. I always had the toughest of the schoolyard thugs in my cadré, because they thought I had a clever sense of humor, and thus I always had an elite squad of bodyguards to deal with anyone who looked at me cross-eyed.
@charles_barrett: All who are deserved will get their time atop the COTD award stand.
Patience, as we all well know, is a virtue.
@sliderule: It was a comment about "furry tatas" in today's Tribble thread... being gay I didn't give it a second glance at the time, but I see the humor now in retrospect).
(Ray may have my head atop a pike for revealing this... Is there a Jalop witness-protection program...?)
@charles_barrett: Is there a Jalop witness-protection program...?
Yes, it's here: [www.autoblog.com]
I think you'll have to rely on your grade school cadre!
You lucky bastard!
@charles_barrett: I stopped dating a girl because she had "furry tatas" btw sorry for all the fag remarks - no harm intended
Thank you, thank you, Jalops. You're too kind. I should also thank our fearless leader, Mr. Wert, who asked the tech department to fix my account when I sent a plaintive e-mail to the "tips" section whining that I couldn't sign in. It was pure torture for me to see Murilee post pictures of a Peugeot 404 in a junkyard and not be able to comment on it, but this makes me feel much better.
@deskman: Keep it up and you're going to get a slant six dart through your four-chambered heart.
@graverobber: Damn
@Ray Wert: Patience indeed!
@sliderule: OOO, nice autoblawg reference.
@graverobber: I mean, you, nice autoblawg reference. Not sliderule
@charles_barrett: Tribble? where is this thread
@sliderule:
The furry tatas comment that was originally COTD: It's here (assuming I can traverse posts... if not, it's in the "Fur Covered Cars: A Pox Upon Thee" thread.)
@Lounatic
Please don't smite me Ray...!
Ya'll have probably done it now. How long will it be before GM puts out a D.B. Cooper Special Edition $60,000 Silverado?
@smokeydog001: I think a Cooper Gettaway Mustang (Hi-Po edition w/drag chute mounted on trunk) would be more 'armed bandit D.B. Cooper style.' Comes w/leather briefcase that matches the leather upholstery.
Damn. If I'd thought of that earlier, maybe I'd be COTD!
OH ELUSIVE C.O.T.D.! WHY DO YOU EVADE ME SO!?!?
Has anyone else who lives in Oregon gone hunting for $20 scraps in the woods during their childhood.
@Turboner: ? not .
@graverobber: That was the most amazing thing I've read this month. The ending especially cinches it for me.
@bzr: Thanks man. I try. And thanks again too for sharing a slice of your family's life. Truly a great read.
Raise a glass to DB! Beat 'em all and got a chevy and a ford named after him (at least in this thread). Steve McQueen couldn't even do that. Yea, take me home, yea, take me home. Say goodbye don't follow.
@lascauxcaveman: dude youve won before, be quiet.
DB could have actually driven to Canada at 125: I-5 used to be absolutely traffic free from 3 to 5 AM back in the 70's, so it would have been pretty easy. Plenty of hoons doing that kind of speed around that time, although long distance hoonage was not common. On the other hand, a Citroen SM would have stood out so much the State Patrol would have stopped him just to look at it up close, being one of those 'furrin' cars they'd heard so much about.
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