Why you should buy this car:
You've always wanted a Hummer but have thus far been put off by their lack of practicality. You want a pickup bed, but not a pickup. You find tribal tattoos strangely appealing.

Why you shouldn't:
Your ultimate goal is turning it into a lowrider. You've got a set of 35" dubs sitting around, waiting for a project; just stick with the H2. You live East of the Mississippi. You wish there was a Humbrid version. You want a work truck that can haul a load of drywall. You spell off-road J-E-E-P.

Suitability Parameters:
Speed Merchants: No
Fashion Victims: Yes
Treehuggers: No
Mack Daddies: Yes
Tuner Crowd: No
Hairdressers: No
Penny Pinchers: No
Euro Snobs: No
Working Stiffs: No
Technogeeks: No
Poseurs: Yes
Soccer Moms: Yes
Nascar Dads: Yes
Golfing Grandparents: No

Also Consider:
• Nissan Frontier
• Toyota Tundra
• Ford Explorer Sport Trac
• Chevy Silverado

Vitals:
• Manufacturer: Hummer
• Model tested: H3T Alpha
• Model year: 2009
• Base Price: $N/A
• Price as Tested: $N/A
• Engine type: 5.3 Liter OHV V-8
• Horsepower: 300 @ 5,200 RPM*
• Torque: 320lb/ft @ 4,000 RPM*
• Red Line: 6,000 RPM
• Transmission: Hydra-Matic 4L60 4-Speed Automatic
• Curb Weight: 4,850 lbs
• LxWxH: 210.3" x 85.1" x 72.2"
• Wheelbase: 134.2"
• Tires: 33" 285/75 R16
• Drive type: 4WD
• 0 - 60 mph: Approx 8 seconds
• 1/4-mile: N/A seconds
• Top speed: 98 MPH
• EPA Fuel economy city/highway: N/A
• NHTSA crash test rating: N/A

*Pending SAE certification

– Curtis Walker

Also see:

• 2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part One

• 2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two

All of our reviews are always available by clicking the Jalopnik Reviews tag in the masthead.

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