Ah, were I but 20 years younger and knew anything about cars....

I nominate POLAR. For all positions at once. Lord knows he can churn out enough.

I nominate the second coming of Polar to be Night/Weekends editor...

@racerx:

Yeah, with POLAR channeling his unique stream-of-consciousness on the weekends I could stop dropping acid every Friday night.

@Al Navarro: Yes please.

The fact that a few of us suggested Polar already should be reason enough...

The mental image of Nick Denton's face as he looks over his Gawker empire and comes across Polar for the first time posting news on Jalopnik; it's making me grin more than that picture of a smashed up hummer.

...My vote for Polar.

Better yet, just let POLAR ghost-write for Burstein.

@beercheck: Naw, that gabby chick is already pretty much monopolizing this place.

I've never read anything of Polar's other than the weird song lyrics, so I'd like to see some actual writing from him... maybe. that thought also kind of scares me.

I'd apply for the job, but it would get me fired from my current job......so I guess I'll stick with writing sketch comedy on the weekends that no one will ever see.

@TomAnderson @Al Navarro: I see your yes, and raise you a Hell Yes.

@Paul Y. Rocks:
Here's my ante-up for Polar as well

All hailz Polar!

Polar iz Gord!

Polar for officialz contributator statuz!

I used to manage a deli on nights and weekends. What a crappy job. The Hardee's used to be the magnet for all of the local mental cases and homeless and such, but then some crackhead bit a cop on the arm in the bathroom and they went to "drive thru only" after 10pm. It wasn't so much that they would hang out all night, but that they wanted to talk to you.

"Hey do you want to hear about my [new religion/conspiracy theory/incoherent ramble]?"
"No, fuck you, shut up and don't bother me."

Somehow, the idea of my sole responsibility being finding topics for a whole planet's worth of insomniac nutjobs to yammer about is both horrifying and irresistible.

Hmmm...

Ray, are any of these positions actually doable with a full-time job, or are there hard time requirements during 9-5 M-F?

I spend enough time here (and elsewhere in the automotive interwebs nights/weekends/at work) that I might as well get some dollars for it.

@Paul Y. Rocks: @jakay11:
I call your obvious bluff and raise you an "ash78" for an "anywhere" intern.

Thats so funny, I was going to say Polar should get this job also.

POLAR can haz it

Polar would only work if this site was Russian...

@smokeydog001: You must be my uncle, because I'm touched.

If I weren't tied up in the 7:00-4:00 grind with a high premium on free time, I'd be all about it.

Where was this "INTAR-WEB" thing when I was in college?

Can I just be an Editor-at-Large... My name near the top of the mast and just count the checks as they roll in... I'm sending you an email with just my mailing address now.

@Mad_Science: Same here. That and that I'm based in Montreal.

@ash78: touched...nice one.

@ash78:

Naw, we can't be related, non of my kin can hold down a job!

I too nominate Polar, not only for teh funny, but also to piss of Lou Dobbs. Another foreigner stealing American jobs.

Pick me! I'm good at being a warm body, I'm a professional placeholder!

To all above,

I'm gettin' a little misty here, but Hell yeah I would love to explore the opportunity further!
I feed off of all of you guys and gals every day I'm here, and love to hear it when I've made someone laugh and hopefully I've brightened their day. The only thing that would prevent me from playing such an important roll to this site would be the risk of disappointing any or all of you. Believe it or not, ЯEVEЯEЙD POLAЯ cares.

Much Love to my Brothers and Sisters,

ЯEVEЯEЙD POLAЯ

If it pays $50/hour, sign me up!

Oh, and thanks everybody for all the OM NOM NOM NOMINATIONS!

Uh, the only writing I've done that's available online is the body of work (snarky comments) that you see on this site. That's probably not going to impress anyone. On the other hand, I'm more than willing to kill for that West Coast associate editor job. Seriously, Ray... you don't get that kind of offer every day.

Polar +1.

See what he did with the power as a commentator, think of what he will do with even more power. . .

Hmm...too bad I don't have a body of writing easily available via url...or have any real car knowledge, otherwise I'd love that weekend job, I'm on my comp all weekend anyhow

Oh and teh polar isn't chosen, he does the choosing...if he feels it not too far below him to grace us with his wit, we will all be the better for it...hail polar!

I also raise my glass to the notion of Indeterminate Jalopnik Polarity.

So let it be written.
So let it be done.

@Skydiver: "No. Fuck you. Shut up and don't bother me."

I think this is going to be my next t-shirt...

I was a science major, so no thanks.

Chalk up another endorsement for the POLAR campaign...

@lascauxcaveman: I'd rather find a way to piss ON Lou Dobbs.

I find Mr. Wert's lack of a response disturbing.

@Turboner: He would pay you handsomely for such an action!

Here he is at his favourite hangout...

Okay, everyone chant with me now: PO-LAR, PO-LAR, PO-LAR!

@ЯEVEЯEЙD POLAЯ: The idea of Polar as a nights/weekend editor is somewhat intriguing. Oh, and btw, this is me at a favorite hangout:

POLAR spelled backwards is RALOP
Which = Ray + Jalop
Which = Fate.

But I can see how Polar might not want to be flung out there all by his lonesome with all the weight of the intarwebs.

Maybe people should audition? A Polar Sunday, a Rust-my-enemy Saturday-whoever wants a go? What counts is how they run the blog, maybe not so much what they have written so far.

@Ray Wert: Uh, what's your left hand doing?

@Novaload: ЯEVEЯEЙD POLAЯ should observe the Sabbath and keep it holy, but what fun would that be?

I certain that Ray can obtain a more competent and civilized fit for the task than myself (in other words, my skills are minimal and I do have this pesky/dreadful Monday to Friday gig I must answer to). I have dreamt of starting a Canadian auto rag for as long as I can remember, but the R&Ts, MTs and C&Ds have the monopoly on the racks.

...but this is the computer age, and this is Jalopnik, anything can happen!

dream job openings? could this be??

anyone else just freaked the hell out by the sheer possibility to be the brunt of all our jackassery??

@Novaload: That's not the worst idea actually.

I'll quote the late, lamented Leaverman, from his farewell address:
"last time I quit Jalopnik to go work at Inside Line, I said to Spinelli, "Sorry I'm leaving -- but you should hire that commenter Murilee Martin. He's really good." So, if history repeats itself, I'll be back in 3 weeks and you'll soon be reading Polar's take on the Ferrari 599. In the form of a song parody."

I'd be happy to see Polar on the masthead here, and I'd be confident that my favorite website is in good hands. I'd also like to submit my name as Polar's second-in-command / Ray Wert's attack dog. Come on, Ray-- I'll call that long-haired Motor Trend dude a sleazy douchebag, and you'll be able to pretend you don't feel the same way. Oh, and I'm a glutton for punishment, which should be useful.

Since last year I contributed as much content to the site as most of the editors, maybe I can get a check for it this year???

Let me get my stuff together.

...Ha! Stuff...what stuff

Yeah, I'd nominate you danio. I actually thought you were a member of the staff when I first became a member. All I could contribute is crap about Chinese/Spanish/offbeat car type crap.

Can we vote? I mean like PCH? or just a online show "Jalopnik got talent?"

@JantheMan: You mean, like a dance-off?

Bring it on!