Jalopnik
The '88 Bentley Mulsanne had its entourage of coked-up thugs stuff the MGC into The Crusher in Friday's Choose Your Eternity poll, with nearly 65% of voters preferring Bentley Hell to MG Hell. With all the British, Italian, and French machinery we've seen in this series recently, we tend to forget that the Germans are no slouches at providing us with Hell Projects. Oh, sure, the Germans do a pretty good job with engineering and quality control (and British Leyland-style labor strife was never a factor, what with the stern Prussian overseers brandishing their riding crops at the assembly line workers), but complexity is dear to the heart of any self-respecting German engineer, and complex cars have complex problems! That's why we're taking a little trip to German Car Hell today, with a pair of vintage Mercedes-Benzes featuring budget price tags.
Everyone liked the Ponton Mercedes-Benz we had on DOTS not long ago, so I've been keeping an eye out for an affordable one. Now, let's say- just for the sake of argument- that you could find a Ponton for $500. Would you do what Team Field Find did with their Mercedes Fintail? Get ready for exactly that dilemma, because here's a 1958 Mercedes-Benz 219 (go here if the ad disappears) for exactly five Benjamins! You can't expect a W105 Mercedes at that price to be perfect, so it doesn't come as much of a shock to find that this one doesn't run. However, the seller states that it "has motor use to run," which should be reassuring. Looks like the interior needs some work, too, and some trim pieces have gone AWOL. The thing about this car that serves as such an effective lure to the sulfurous abyss is that it's so solidly built that you know it's possible to make everything work again. You can do it!
It would be fun to feel like the decadent Baron von Hoon in your staid Ponton, heading out for a night of Early Jet Set Era absinthe-fueled cross-dressing action at an exclusive Berlin nightclub, but perhaps you like your Mercedes-Benzes to be more on the sporty side. We've got just what you need, Jürgen! How about a 1973 Mercedes-Benz 450SL (go here if the ad disappears) for only $750? Amazing! You won't have to worry about getting that complicated-ass Mercedes V8 to work, because it's gone... but that means you have guilt-free authorization to enrage the purists by dropping a Nissan VK45DE into the engine compartment. The body and paint aren't too bad, and the interior... well, just remember the car was only $750!
Comments
Early 450SLs are supposed to be the "next big thing" in collectable Benzes, so the risk-reward ratio for this rare "engine delete option" car looks oh so attractive. I'll be driving to hell with the wind in my hair!
On the road to hell, all proper James Bond villins drive Pontons! Plus, perhaps this one is a good canidate for a Bakkie conversion?
[www.mbzponton.org]
Trust me, Ive got a major in Pontonology and a minor in Hoontastic Studies.
That long 450sl hood looks just right for a V12. The only question is: Jag or BMW?
oh yes...
"Has motor use to run?!" No shit! Well, set me up, I'm ready!
At least the body looks to be in decent shape. I understand that up until about 1967, the bodymaking end of the MB factory was a cast iron foundry.
@Mad_Science: Toyota V12 all the way (I mean that both as an endorsement of the engine and its merits befitting the car, and that one of those assumed merits, reliability, will indeed allow it to go all the way).
I voted for the 450sl simply because you'd have to go to Cleveland to get it, and that's pretty hellish in its own right.
@Mad_Science: You could keep it all Benz, you know.
The whole powertrain-not-included thing has me leaning toward the SL, as well. Of course, then I'd have to buy some aviator shades and grow my sideburns even longer. But it'd be worth it, considering all the far out foxes that thing would pull in.
"PASSENAGER FRONT FENDER HAS SOME LIGHT DAMAGE" Govenor Arnold Passenager???? I went 73. I'd drop The motor out of the G37 in it. (BTW, I was at the VW plant in Wolfsburg and did not see one riding crop...Cattle Prods, yes....but no riding crops)
Ponton, no question. Hell, Mr. Jalopy has one that runs, and it sounds like a complete nightmare to own, even if only because of the rarity and expense of parts. The only steps closer to the center of MB-PCH (in descending order) would be an Adenauer or anything made before the war.
Pontoon all the way.
The 450 needs amotor and trans. ANY motor and trans. Sure, you could get all jiggy wid it and find a V-12 or somethin as such but it is still purty straight forward stuff. The 219 on the other hand is pure PCH. Non-running, mising parts, open to the elements (can you say mold and mildew?) and it is in TEXAS! How in Hell, do you get more PCH than that?
The 450. Cleveland + convertible = incessant oxidation, everywhere
I'm trying to keep a new-to-me '89 420 SEL alive for another 12-15 years, so I'm becoming quite familiar with teutonic PCH.
I've already got a '73 Benz so I went Ponton. All black, stretch the front doors about 10 inches and weld the back ones shut for a stealth coupe, maybe a slight chop.
Yeah, I could see that.
Both these cars serve to demonstrate just how tedious Benzes today have become.
I was pontificating taking a punt on the ponton, but, meh, it's just a bit.... boring.
While the 450, for all it's eternal knackeredness and brokenification... when the dust settles, with the right amount of Brabusism or AMGisity, together with liberal applications of white pearl metallic (with actual gold leaf metal flake) and some of the most albino ever of alpaca leather seats.... I wanna cruise this sonofabitch down to downtown Dubai and go Sheik-bating.
(or just spend the next 20 years of my life with an increasingly rusting W107, ready to reluctantly be fed into the shredder when I retire, when we are forced to downsize into a suburban condo since those "strange hippy types" with the music and the hair and the ethnic food moved in across the street, with their neon glow and their musty, herbal aroma. This neighborhood is going badly downhill)
@Kelly: You took the words right out of my mouth. I'm still going to check it out, though. Can't pass up a PCH candidate in your own backyard, can you?
@Rust-MyEnemy:
If you're gonna out-sheik an ol' sheik, you had better find a good tanner and some rare albino Corinthians.
there is NOTHING that combines wasting time & money + pointlessness quite like bringing a 450SL back to life.
The rare PCH where I can confidently say, "Neither."
A clean Ponton would make a neat driver, like a Falcon. And it has the same intrinsic sex factor: None.
A 107 is like a Rolls. So complicated and common that a "restoration project" is automatically economic suicide. Might make a neat body for a tubeframe race car, if it comes with the hardtop.
Too hard, brain asplode.
Gotta go for the SL. Get me one of those mid-80s AMG flare & spoiler kits, add
a 454 and 700R4 powertrain, some stupid-fat Pirellis on real wide BBS wire alloys. Or gold 5-spoke Campagnolos.
With a sweet ride like that, all I'd need is a black T-shirt and a bad-fitting busboy's jacket to off the whole Miami Vice retro trip ...
Cleveland, total rust bucket, coke spoon disco jackass.
"Use to run." Yeah, well, there use to be a big warm sea in the center of the US but time rolls on, buddy.
Not every hollowed out corroded shell or rotting revenant of a crusty crumbly Benz should be saved.
@drauzy: I suppose you could pretend it's a 70's Jaguar and drop in a Chevy 350. But that would be cheating, which is why I went for the Ponton.
I'm gonna have to go with the 58, since I've literally had a dream of owning a hot rodded benz of that era. Gloss black (not flat, sorry!), big block, blower, big fat tubs in the back.
I voted for the Benz. Do some mods to the firewall and drop in a Cummins or Duramax engine.
@Молотов:
Effin A, I voted for the SEL, on another note I wouldn't mind the 219 and dropping a Fiat Multijet Diesel into it (my grandmother had the 219 in Spain).
Passin' on this round. Don't speak enough German to make a difference with either hulk.
The 219 is the perfect Ponton for hooning: from the firewall forward, it's a 220 with the 220's excellent inline six and all the later-Benz-engine-swap potential that entails. But from the firewall back, it's a 190, which means it's smaller and lighter than the other six-cylinder Pontons. As for hoonage potential, it has swing-axle rear suspension that makes terrifying oversteer an absolute certainty when you're driving hard. Not that you'll need to worry about driving it-- this is Project Car Hell, after all. But it's nice to know that when you've finished, you'll be able to do powerslides.
@Молотов: I like the way you think with the diesel swap. But if you drop a Cummins in it you don't want to see AMG but a Mr.Gale Banks.
@marc2068:
Why not? I think it's about time we see high performance diesels in the states. If somehow I can find enjoyment in driving a diesel Citroen C4 Picasso when I was in Europe, I know we can do it. We can rebuild it, we have the technology, we have the capability to build the worlds first Duramax SEL.
@DrJimmy: What?! You FOOL! This is what you buy to give yourself an incentive!
Same reason my wife bought a project - sorry, that's antique - sewing machine. All the lit. was German. Ask her anything in German about sewing machines and she can answer you.
Had to go Ponton. It would be so much cooler when driving. And that belief will keep you working on it until Jesus comes back.
Almost went with the SEL, just because Cleveland's a funny word.
Start a discussion:
Login with your username and password below. Or comment on this post via email.
Forgot your username or password? New User?