We thought we'd seen luxury cars before. Rolls itself has even gone pretty far in furthering the state of the pampering art, but now they've outdone themselves. The new Rolls Royce Phantom Coupe — based on the concept car from the Detroit Auto Show in January — takes things to a new and ridiculous level. Loop woven carpet and seat heaters don't cut it for this set. Try suicide doors which close themselves at the touch of a button, controllable fiber optic starlight in the headliner, more baby cow soft leather than a veal factory, and big.

Seriously, this thing is a monster. Every angle signals the power of the potentate behind the wheel. This car is less a piece of transportation than a giant pimp cane on wheels. Lear Jets are less conspicuous. We're in love.

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