Though we doubt many care, we've got an embedded journalist in San Francisco reporting out to us on what's going on at the NADA annual whatever out there tonight. Our embed will be covering the event live for us but for reasons of NADA-nal security, can't reveal his or her name — so we've nicknamed them "Rick_Fan_001" to protect them. Without further ado, here's our live instant messenger chat of this evening's keynote by GM CEO Rick Wagoner after the jump. Just keep hitting refresh as we add more:

Rick_Fan_001: guy on stage imitating ed sullivan
wertraym: Are you fucking kidding me>?
Rick_Fan_001: nope
Rick_Fan_001: the dealers are going crazy
Rick_Fan_001: they love this shit
Rick_Fan_001: now they are spinning plates on stage

Rick_Fan_001: I shit you not
wertraym: Of course they do — are they all wearing golf slacks and green sport coats?
wertraym: with white patent leather shoes?
Rick_Fan_001: of course
Rick_Fan_001: now they are juggling
Rick_Fan_001: and balancing objects on their faces
Rick_Fan_001: like bowling pins
Rick_Fan_001: dide - best part is I got this entertainment for free
wertraym: Is this the National Auto Dealers Association keynote by Rick Wagoner or the Barnum & Brothers Circus?
Rick_Fan_001: they are still balancing plates to the song flight of the bumblbee
Rick_Fan_001: I wish the transformer bumblebee would show up and fry these guys
wertraym: Maybe I'll just post this back-and-forth, kinda like a live-blog
Rick_Fan_001: wagoner in a yellow camaro
Rick_Fan_001: that would be killer
wertraym: Wagoner in a yellow Camaro, or posting this as a live-blog?
Rick_Fan_001: now six plates are going at once on poles
Rick_Fan_001: this rocks
Rick_Fan_001: hahahah
Rick_Fan_001: wait they are going for 7 plates
wertraym: Holy cow, the insanity
Rick_Fan_001: 60 yr old cheerleader is asking the crowd to go wild and cheer for plate 7
Rick_Fan_001: I kid you not
wertraym: I'm not sure I believe you
Rick_Fan_001: crap... a plate fell
wertraym: Did it break?!?!
wertraym: Oh noes!
Rick_Fan_001: no, just a thud
wertraym: Oh.
Rick_Fan_001: obviously not chinese made
wertraym: Anti-climactic
Rick_Fan_001: 60 yr old cheerleader is dancing now
wertraym: I can hardly contain my excitement.
Rick_Fan_001: shes jumping up and down and blowing on the plates to make them go around
wertraym: It's a 60-year-old female cheerleader?
Rick_Fan_001: Im getting hot...whoops wrong IM window
wertraym: Great...
wertraym: Is Wagoner actually going to speak,or is this some big tease?
Rick_Fan_001: I think they are wrapping it up
Rick_Fan_001: big finale coming
Rick_Fan_001: wait for it
Rick_Fan_001: wait for it
Rick_Fan_001: 9 plates!!!!
Rick_Fan_001: yes!
wertraym: No drops?
Rick_Fan_001: nope
Rick_Fan_001: they are catching them now
Rick_Fan_001: they are playing a polka
Rick_Fan_001: taking a bow
Rick_Fan_001: gotta save battery
Rick_Fan_001: be right back
wertraym: K
* Offline: Rick_Fan_001 has signed out.
* Online: Rick_Fan_001 has signed back in.
Rick_Fan_001: second act on stage
Rick_Fan_001: magician
wertraym: OMG!
Rick_Fan_001: they are tangoing
wertraym: Ask him to pull some car and truck sales out of a hat for GM
Rick_Fan_001: magician and his asst
Rick_Fan_001: he reaching into his hat
Rick_Fan_001: his blue gloves just turned red
Rick_Fan_001: now they are green
Rick_Fan_001: now they are yellow
wertraym: WOWZ!
Rick_Fan_001: wow
Rick_Fan_001: his asst just changed into clothes instantly
Rick_Fan_001: from red dress to yellow
wertraym: Was she out of clothes?
Rick_Fan_001: they are called 'QUick Change'
Rick_Fan_001: cuban music playing
Rick_Fan_001: Cuban Pete
Rick_Fan_001: singing chick chicky boom
Rick_Fan_001: asst just pulled out fake flowers
Rick_Fan_001: she has a giant tube
Rick_Fan_001: wow - big flowers in the tube
Rick_Fan_001: WoW - cool trick
wertraym: I'll be she does have a giant tube
Rick_Fan_001: new chick , other asst just disappeared
Rick_Fan_001: nice job
Rick_Fan_001: haha
Rick_Fan_001: he has a bottle of absithe
Rick_Fan_001: and monks are singing in the background
wertraym: Monks?
wertraym: So its not a Jewish magician?
Rick_Fan_001: heh
Rick_Fan_001: one sec
Rick_Fan_001: I'm mezmoreized
Rick_Fan_001: wow her dress just turned from blue to purple
Rick_Fan_001: now hes in a white outfit
Rick_Fan_001: so many clothes changes
Rick_Fan_001: now shes in a black and white polka dot dress
Rick_Fan_001: now its orange
Rick_Fan_001: I cant keep up
Rick_Fan_001: holy crap
wertraym: So like Rick Wagoner — a one-trick pony
Rick_Fan_001: he just spilled glitter on her and her dress turned white
Rick_Fan_001: Ed Sullivan is back on stage
Rick_Fan_001: he says they are opening up a strip malle
Rick_Fan_001: mall
Rick_Fan_001: get it - a strip mall cause the dresses were changing so fast
Rick_Fan_001: ed is doing impressions
Rick_Fan_001: Nor Cal resident
Rick_Fan_001: Clint Eastwood as a baby doing a poem
Rick_Fan_001: Im a little baby that you still have to carry - and I call my diaper Dirty Harry
Rick_Fan_001: I shit you not
Rick_Fan_001: Jack Nicholson now
wertraym: What the hell is this?
Rick_Fan_001: Its all visua
wertraym: NADA or talent search?
Rick_Fan_001: visual
Rick_Fan_001: Oh man, here come the Beatles
Rick_Fan_001: she loves you ya ya yah
Rick_Fan_001: these guys are good
Rick_Fan_001: best part of the show
Rick_Fan_001: george harrison guy is a dead ringer
Rick_Fan_001: no pun intended
Rick_Fan_001: I'll stay away from Lennon jokes
wertraym: What the fuck?
Rick_Fan_001: Im anonymous here
wertraym: This NADA has warped my fragile little mind.
Rick_Fan_001: dude, and youre not here
Rick_Fan_001: gotta save battery
Rick_Fan_001: and clap over my head
Rick_Fan_001: whole crowd is doing it
Rick_Fan_001: now were going to stand
wertraym: Oy.
Rick_Fan_001: and clap with beatles
* Offline: Rick_Fan_001 has signed out.
* Online: Rick_Fan_001 has signed back in.
Rick_Fan_001: welcome speech finally
* Offline: Rick_Fan_001 has signed out.
* Online: Rick_Fan_001 has signed back in.
Rick_Fan_001: NADA chairman Dale Willy is speaking about profitability
Rick_Fan_001: standby
wertraym: k
Rick_Fan_001: introducing NADA exec committee
Rick_Fan_001: about 10 to 15 away from Rick W
wertraym: Woo-HOO! More magic tricks!
Rick_Fan_001: Im missing those more and more
Rick_Fan_001: be back
* Offline: Rick_Fan_001 has signed out.
* Online: Rick_Fan_001 has signed back in.
Rick_Fan_001: product info gathered under real world, daily conditions from dealers is valuable to manufacturers - it's free
Rick_Fan_001: quoting Bill Daily - NADA chair ( I need to check that though)
Rick_Fan_001: justifying role of dealers
Rick_Fan_001: should be partners with manufacturers
Rick_Fan_001: not just when there are slow selling cars
Rick_Fan_001: but before cars get off the drawing boards
Rick_Fan_001: car mfgrs are not always fair to all dealers
Rick_Fan_001: dealers should be treated as partners in govt affairs
Rick_Fan_001: help shape legislation
wertraym: Well, that would make sense if dealers could keep their big mouths shut about product planning
wertraym: Yes, dealers should do EVERYTHING — except, you know, sell cars.
Rick_Fan_001: legislators have found that NADA fills a valuable spot between mfgrs, govt and consumers
wertraym: blah, blah, blah...
Rick_Fan_001: NADA understands and can communicate realistic remedies for legislation on behalf of consumers and auto makers
wertraym: NADA=greatest thing since sliced bread
Rick_Fan_001: fed govt officials are here to talk to regulators one on one
Rick_Fan_001: its the chairman of NADA ... need to get his name checked
Rick_Fan_001: we the deales are the point where teh consumers, automakers, and congress interesect. we're uniquiely qualified to unite these sectors
Rick_Fan_001: our role will become even more critical over the next 100 years
Rick_Fan_001: no one means more to the future than we do
wertraym: haha
Rick_Fan_001: its a big responsibiltiy and we;re up to the task
Rick_Fan_001: standing up now
wertraym: Yes — no one means more to the future of cars than NADA
Rick_Fan_001: ok, next speakinger coming up
Rick_Fan_001: theme this year is 'focus on profitability'
Rick_Fan_001: 700 exhibitors
Rick_Fan_001: 5 halls
Rick_Fan_001: 40 workshop topics
Rick_Fan_001: 145 work sessions
Rick_Fan_001: half the speakers are new this year
Rick_Fan_001: acn get workshop certificates online for attending 4 or more workshops
Rick_Fan_001: 35 countries
Rick_Fan_001: 1500 foreign attendees
Rick_Fan_001: NADA goes back to New Orleans next year
Rick_Fan_001: first time since Katrina
Rick_Fan_001: video of 2008 convention highlights being shown
Rick_Fan_001: Rick coming up soon
Rick_Fan_001: Time Magzine Dealer of the Year award too
Rick_Fan_001: and Jay Leno
Rick_Fan_001: Dale Willar is speaking
Rick_Fan_001: introducing Rick
Rick_Fan_001: Dale Willard is introducing Rick Wagoner
Rick_Fan_001: Wishing GM a 100 year happy birthday
Rick_Fan_001: video highlights of GM
Rick_Fan_001: history
Rick_Fan_001: GM design defines an era
Rick_Fan_001: tech firsts
Rick_Fan_001: getting closer
Rick_Fan_001: today is Rick's Birthday
Rick_Fan_001: he is being introduced still
Rick_Fan_001: youngest CEO in GM history
Rick_Fan_001: rick is on stage
Rick_Fan_001: great to be here
Rick_Fan_001: on his birthday
Rick_Fan_001: laughter
Rick_Fan_001: he's been to NADA every year since 2004
Rick_Fan_001: since he came back stateside
wertraym: Happy Birthday Rick!
Rick_Fan_001: yep
wertraym: Happy Birthday GM!
wertraym: Will they have a big cake?
Rick_Fan_001: rick did a keynote here back in 2001
Rick_Fan_001: dealers and OEMs need to work together - predicted rate of change would accelerate
Rick_Fan_001: its even more than he imagined
Rick_Fan_001: pretty incredible to consider all the challenges faced over the past 7 years, like 9/11
Rick_Fan_001: like 100/barrell oil
Rick_Fan_001: bankruptcy from suppliiers
Rick_Fan_001: economoic challenges
Rick_Fan_001: runaway health care inflation
Rick_Fan_001: dealer challenges, like profitability and industry consolidation
Rick_Fan_001: talked about dealers and OEMs working together
Rick_Fan_001: example: automotive youth education program
Rick_Fan_001: Jack Smith proposed it
Rick_Fan_001: OEMs and dealers should work together to create an apprentice program for service techs
wertraym: OMG! This is like, riveting and stuff...
Rick_Fan_001: that's what Jack Smith proposed
wertraym: Yes, OEM's should work by themselves to do the dealers job for them
Rick_Fan_001: hey - its an example of OEMs and Dealers working closely together
Rick_Fan_001: 4,500 dealers are participing...impacted 13,000 lives of skilled auto techs
wertraym: The dealers should bear the ability to intervene in the decisions of the automaker and yet take on none of the responsibilities.
Rick_Fan_001: ongoing consolidation of dealers is next topic
wertraym: Oh good
Rick_Fan_001: has to be a mutual decision between OEMs and dealers...deales leaving the industry should be able to leave with dignity
wertraym: And how they'd rather all die of gonorrhea and rot in hell than do it?
wertraym: ha!
wertraym: Dignity?
wertraym: That which they've never provided to customers they now want?
Rick_Fan_001: find mutually agreeable ways to do this
Rick_Fan_001: that must happen
Rick_Fan_001: justifying role of dealers
Rick_Fan_001: should be partners with manufacturers
Rick_Fan_001: not just when there are slow selling cars
Rick_Fan_001: but before cars get off the drawing boards
Rick_Fan_001: car mfgrs are not always fair to all dealers
Rick_Fan_001: dealers should be treated as partners in govt affairs
Rick_Fan_001: help shape legislation
wertraym: Well, that would make sense if dealers could keep their big mouths shut about product planning
wertraym: Yes, dealers should do EVERYTHING — except, you know, sell cars.
Rick_Fan_001: legislators have found that NADA fills a valuable spot between mfgrs, govt and consumers
wertraym: blah, blah, blah...
Rick_Fan_001: NADA understands and can communicate realistic remedies for legislation on behalf of consumers and auto makers
wertraym: NADA=greatest thing since sliced bread
Rick_Fan_001: fed govt officials are here to talk to regulators one on one
Rick_Fan_001: its the chairman of NADA ... need to get his name checked
Rick_Fan_001: we the deales are the point where teh consumers, automakers, and congress interesect. we're uniquiely qualified to unite these sectors
Rick_Fan_001: our role will become even more critical over the next 100 years
Rick_Fan_001: no one means more to the future than we do
wertraym: haha
Rick_Fan_001: its a big responsibiltiy and we;re up to the task
Rick_Fan_001: standing up now
wertraym: Yes — no one means more to the future of cars than NADA
Rick_Fan_001: ok, next speakinger coming up
Rick_Fan_001: theme this year is 'focus on profitability'
Rick_Fan_001: new fuel legislation was a good example of join NADA cooperation with OEMs
Rick_Fan_001: NADA played a key role
Rick_Fan_001: big warning on the hurdles that need to be overcome by 2020
Rick_Fan_001: work reminds him of a story of a cowboy that went before St. Peter
Rick_Fan_001: St Peter asked if he had done something of particular merit
wertraym: BTW — this is all live on site right now
Rick_Fan_001: cowboy : bikers were harrassing a girl and he said dont do that. cowboy knocked over a bkier bike
Rick_Fan_001: St peter said when did this happen?
Rick_Fan_001: cowboy - a few minutes ago
Rick_Fan_001: unlike cowboy, we want to live to tell the tale
Rick_Fan_001: bring succsfully to maket a new range of propulsion technologies
Rick_Fan_001: focus on gas friendly to gas free
Rick_Fan_001: like Volt
Rick_Fan_001: as we bring these new technologies to market, we'll change the way people think about transportation
wertraym: From gas friendly to gas free?
wertraym: From Beano to gas free?
Rick_Fan_001: this is a huge assignemnt as we work together to bring the technoglogy to market and sell and aservice it
Rick_Fan_001: 2 areas of big focus to work together on NOW
Rick_Fan_001: NADA and OEMs
Rick_Fan_001: 1) first workt together for right regulatory environment to reduce growth of US oil consumption and greenhouse gas emissions
Rick_Fan_001: some states want to go beyond federal regulation
Rick_Fan_001: but the fact is we should be focuseed on national standards, not states
Rick_Fan_001: it would fragment our efforts to achieve end results
wertraym: God forbid we'd fragment it
Rick_Fan_001: in short we need to work together to educate state and local lawmakers on the important of tough national satandards
wertraym: God forbid some states would want to get SOME legislation enacted
Rick_Fan_001: 2) reduce oil consumption by fostering creation of infracsturure needed to implement alt energy solutions
Rick_Fan_001: charging stations
Rick_Fan_001: hydrogen refueling infrastructure
Rick_Fan_001: today we need ethanol pumps to support flex fuel vehicles
Rick_Fan_001: but its hard to make this happen
Rick_Fan_001: take E85...we've taken the chicken out of the chicken and egg problem
wertraym: I can't drive E85!
Rick_Fan_001: we're making flex fuel
wertraym: Flex your fuel, GM!
Rick_Fan_001: E85 is ramping up, but we're doing a lousy job making E85 available to consumers
Rick_Fan_001: despite best efforts
Rick_Fan_001: dealers and OEMs need to workt togehter to push E85 acceptance
Rick_Fan_001: wrapping it up now
Rick_Fan_001: appealing for dealers and OEMs to continue to work hard at working together
wertraym: Dealers and OEM's, living together in perfect harmony!
wertraym: Like fucking Ebony and Ivory
Rick_Fan_001: we have the ability to solve great problems
Rick_Fan_001: domestic mfgrs have been restructuring and are better able to compete globally
Rick_Fan_001: we stand at a time of great dynamic change
Rick_Fan_001: success comes to those who lead
Rick_Fan_001: looks forward to working with dealers in the days and years to come
Rick_Fan_001: thats it
wertraym: Success comes to those who lead?
* Offline: Rick_Fan_001 has signed out.
wertraym: So does that mean Toyota is succeeding?
wertraym: Crap, now we'll never know.

Send an email to Ray Wert, the author of this post, at ray@jalopnik.com.