Audi Driver Kills Teen, Sues Dead Youth's Family Over Car DamageS

In what can only be called the worst case of AADS (Asshole Audi Driver Syndrome) ever recorded, Tomas Delgado, a Spanish businessman, is suing the family of a boy he killed while speeding in his Audi A8. The accident caused 14,000 Euros of damage to the all-aluminum luxury car, and Delgado is also looking to cover the additional 6,000 Euros in transportation costs he incurred while the Audi was in the shop. He argues that his 17-year-old victim, Enaitz Iriondo, who was wearing dark clothes while cycling at night, caused the damage while he was in the process of having his young life snuffed out by Delgago's hurtling death chariot. Quoting Mr. Delgado—and please restrain your urge to vomit here: "I'm also a victim in all of this, you can't fix the lad's problems, but you can fix mine." His lawyer, Beelzebub, Esq., offered no comment on the case, which will see an expected verdict on January 30 and perhaps witness the Earth open up to swallow Delgado whole. [via The Mail]