Jalopnik
A member of our staff accidentally walked away with the menu you see above from The Firehouse, the one-time-only magical bar that appears in an actual working Detroit Firehouse across the street thanks to the folks at Chrysler (this is where Dr. Z poured us beer). It's a nice event, with all tips going towards the Detroit Fireman's Fund (Donate Here). If you want said special Chrysler-produced menu just caption the photo below in a comment and the best comment by COB wins! (UPDATE: We'll announce the winner on Monday)
Why Evander Holyfield? Why not? Caption Away: 
Comments
Chrysler: Winner by Technical Cop-Out
Now where's the paparazzi when I'M flashing my kitten?
Hey, I found the beer goggles! Suddenly, I find beards very sexy.
Warning: Please keep hair, ears away from closing door.
Whasssssssup??
Hey, wait...Mike Damone was at the Detroit Auto Show?
Check out this grill George Foreman!
@Chris in KY:
Too Funny! "Hey, Dr. Z. You say you need two tickets for Blue Oyster Cult?"
Hope the food was covered with a sleaze-guard.
Nope, still not enough room for ALL my kids. Maybe I can find a Checker Aerobus.
"I dunno, Hulk told me yellow works better..."
I polished my head for THIS?
Dr Z's AmEx was charged extra for the missing menu.
"Now stay right there Mike..."
Buick demonstrates its simple, albeit expensive, road rage protection system.
Dr.Z: "I WANT HOLYFIELD!"
I'll have to hang the chrome truck nuts from the rear view mirror.
I can't wait to DONK this.
In here is the script for my new short movie - called "Two Guys and a Cup"
Johnny's big day out was shortly ruined by a severed leg minutes after this photo was taken.
Tysonmatic GT just damn ate my right leg.
"If the Chinese dudes can drive around Detroit, so can Evander 'Check Out My Big Fucking Nuts' Holyfield."
Regarding Holyfield pic:
1. Open Photoshop.
2. Add teeth to the door and bottom plate.
3. Add "OM NOM NOM NOM" caption.
4. Profit.
30 seconds after exiting the car, security arrested Mr. Holyfield. He was lead away while shouting "That's profilin' motherf*%#&^!"
A shaken spokesman later confessed that "It didn't look like he belonged in that nice of a car, that he even claimed was a Buick! We didn't believe him at all about the car being a GM, so we thought he must be wacky on the meth."
hopefully they will hire me to be their spokemen, i mean buik has that black dude right?
"Is that a firehose, or are you just happy to see me?"
Oh, snap. You meant the second picture, didn't you.
Okay: "I swear I'll beat the living crap out of the first mofo to ding these doors!"
@Mr4Runner: OM NOM NOM NOM
"I never got molested like this in Tuscany"
Hey honey, what's shinier this car or my head?
@Mr4Runner:
I'm going to hell for this one:
[aycu04.webshots.com]
@Mr4Runner:
Oh jeez...I'm goin' to hell: [aycu04.webshots.com]
"it bit mah eer!"
"I can't belive i tried to eat the whole thing"
"Good morning Mr. Woods... I am your new chauffeur..."
@Mr4Runner: i just barely got up from the floor to write this. brilliant.
"TELL THAT CANDYASS TIGER WOODS I'M JACKING HIS RIDE"
i ... i have a good one... but it ... it may be too much to post
Beautiful photo Jalopnik. I love how the lines and the composition direct your eyes towards Holyfield's crotch.
Buick recently reached an agreement with former 'Dancing With The Stars' contestant Evander Holifield to co-brand their new front end with the fighter's "Real Deal Grill."
".....so like I was saying, THIS is what Britney did for the Paparazzi cameras when she was out with Paris Hilton, only she didn't have any underwear on."
If you can't make fun of everything... Don't make fun of an...
that should read "anything, right? at the end there
While old for a fighter, the 45-year-old Evander Holyfield is still too young for the AAPR, and was therefore surprised to see Buick was still around.
Boxer? I don't even know her!
Holyfield reportedly commented that the side window that extends over his head would help him to keep an eye out for any paragliding crazies.
Holyfield and Buick - perpetually in the midst of a "Comeback"
Following the success of several remakes of 1980s movies, Evander Holyfield signed on to the new remake of "Hardcastle and McCormick." Unfortunately, producers discovered he would climb in and out of the new "Buick Coyote" and a new Coyote based on a Hummer H2 is being built. Brian Keith unavailable for comment.
@LTDScott: would = "couldn't." Dammit
"Racist motherf&*$ers give Kid Rock a ZR1 and put the black man in a Buick. And who the hell is Toby Keith?"
In related news, Riddick Bowe was seen trying out a BYD.
@SwatLax: brilliant
Top Pic: "I came back to the U.S. to eat this crap?"
Second Pic: "Joe Creditchecker at the NAIAS main offices will not be in charge of the A, B, C, D celebrity credential lists next year. He clearly doesn't know his alphabet."
"Despite the common misconception that the gull-wing doors are mere stylistic affectations, the design is a very practical one. The advantage is that when properly designed and counterbalanced (for example, the Buick Riviera Concept), they provide clearance for fat headed celebutards."
I really out did myself with this one: No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!
@Mr4Runner:
That's just bad...lol!
@Mr4Runner: Beautiful. Evander is now a shoe-in for Trakker in the live action version of M.A.S.K.
Oh skrit, thems snakes in dere!
In the future, all Buicks will come with a black chauffeur, like this one!
@pres: HAHAHAHA
Evander: This is the Biggest Damn George Foreman grill I have ever seen!
Pulp Holyfield