Jalopnik
I know it's been a while since our last Choose Your Eternity matchup (in which, incidentally, the Hayubasa-powered Honda 600 just barely edged out the Duramax-powered '47 Ford, for which I apologize; the cruel overlords at the salt mine my tech-writing job shipped me out to New York for a 4-day weekend of PowerPoint presentations. Aaah, PowerPoint, the magical tool that makes time slow to a crawl! To unwind, we were treated to free booze each night at corporate-sponsored parties, including one with an "Eighties Prom" theme. And, as I fought my way to the bar to get another French 75 (F. Scott Fitzgerald's drink of choice while in Paris), contemplating the spectacle of a bunch of 24-year-old software geeks shakin' it to the usual Billy Idol tunes (how come 80s parties never have good 80s dance music, like George Clinton or Grandmaster Flash? And, yes, I know the answer: MTV), I tried to recall how the rear-wheel-drive Japanese factory hot rods of the era appeared to those of us who cared about cars at the time. And, of course, that was the inspiration for today's pair of PCH choices...
As we all know, it's pretty tough to find a Toyota that's really suitable for this series. They're just too reliable and the parts are too easy to find, so the Hell component is weaker than we like. Still, the mid-80s Toyota Corolla GT-S does qualify, and not just because you know that every single one has had the absolute crap beat out of it by generations of lead-footed hoons. The real reason the flames grow higher as soon as you pick up an AE86, however, is that every single component of every single car has been thoroughly molested by clueless 19-year-olds with a $19.95 set of sockets and dreams of being the Drift King of the parking lots of (insert name of suburban shopping mall here). The surprises will never stop coming, no matter how long you work on it! Such is the likely case with this '86 Corolla GT-S coupe (go here if the ad disappears), which can be had for only two grand in American dollars. The car runs, but it "has low compression in the third and fourth cylinders" (probable translation: lean condition during application of HELLA NOSSSSSS has added speed holes to pistons and/or repeated overheating has blown the head gasket). There's the telltale litany of buzzwords (JDM, HKS, carbon fiber) that indicate both hoonage and tons of drifto-centric mods applied by a series of 19-year-old owners dating back to the early 90s. But... if you could clean up the mess and add engine sap via properly-done modifications, you'd be doing the 80s right- "Loopzilla" instead of "White Wedding."
The AE86 is a pretty cool car, of course, but these days it's akin to what the '69 Camaro was to my generation: just about the only old car that every high-school kid can identify. What if you want a hot Eighties Japanese machine without having to listen to 16-year-olds tell you all about it? And you want a car that's already set up for turbocharging, because you have a (probably unfounded) belief that you'll thereby be able to stuff more boost into it? In that case, this 1988 Mitsubishi Starion (go here if the ad disappears) is the correct infernal choice for you! Actually, this car might be a Dodge Conquest, as the seller doesn't quite make the make 100% clear in the listing. What is clear, however, is that this Mitsu has had the hood and headlight panel painted "SUNBURST ORANGE, 07 CORVETTE/HHR OTHER KNOWN AS MANDARIN ORANGE METALIC IT WILL LOOK REALLY NICE ONCE FINISHED." The turquoise air dam is a nice touch, too. The car doesn't quite, you know, run at the moment, but when you "spray starter fluid into the intake it runs and idles really nice it might have a bad pump and relay or something." Yeah, a turbocharged Astron motor, with its funky injector setup- you have to figure the problem is just a relay. No sweat! Nervous Nellies might shy away from statements such as "it would be a waste to just let it go to crap with the rebuilt motor by previous guy," but everyone knows that engine rebuilds done by the "previous guy" are always up to manufacturers' specs. Don't worry about those minor details, though; you need to picture yourself behind the wheel of this Starion with a nice paint job and 450 turbocharged Astron ponies under the hood.
Comments
I was going to go with my perennial favorite the Starion but something about the Ae86 engine and those cams make me feel all giddy inside
theres some Popsicles down in the cellar mmmmmmmmm
AE86, duuuuuh.
The hood is already black, what else do you need.
Funny, the ad says 1985, but this is clearly the '86 Kouki model.
Starion here.
If it fails, I could always find some way to strip the suspension and everything else, and put it in my back bedroom, put it on hydraulic lifts and tap it in somehow for my racing games...
I mean, come on, it's a Starion. Starion for me, please.
Starion, but it's overpriced by about $1150.
I voted for the AE86 cuz it sounds all f*&ed up.
I have a soft spot for the Starion/Conquest. I owned one and drove several others. Mod the waste gate and the things was CRAZY!! Who needed a chip? And, the damned engine's were almost bullet proof.
I remember test driving one at a local Dodge dealer. I hit 95 on a local bypass and the salesman ran to the bathroom when we got back to the dealership. What fun...
Starion here, I have only seen two in my lifetime and neither one of them ran. Let's see a car with a strange motor that nobody has parts for? A true one-way ticket to hell.
Murilee, in my neck of the country I see..... hope you liked it (or at least tolerated it)
and Starion FTW
For me, it was a toss-up between the two. I like both. Both are cool. Picked the Mitsu because it has a bigger engine and I like the look slightly better.
...Starion. Duh.
This is Jalopnik.
I voted AE86, but once I owned it, I would feel obligated to should "Taaakuuuumiiiiiii" at the top of my lungs every time I fired her up. Plus, the stereo would only play Japanese eurobeat.
Well, the AE86 may have a red motor (not this so-called, blue top tomfoolery), but the Starion hasn't ran in 2 years with a mystery fuel problem!
Starion it is!
Starion FTW. Saw a beautifully restored one recently on the road. Had big fat tires, perfect blue paint, nice big exhaust. And I'm sure that fuel delivery problem is no big deal.
Stallion.
Starion! Just for the rarity of it. and I can rebadge it as a Conquest
Only the Starion truly has SUPER POTENTIAL.
no question.
Super Potential!
Starion. FTW.
/although AR86 = badass. Good PCH options. Hell, do both.
Neither... Go with an 84 AE instead
uh, have to pass on BOTH and just go watch flashdance ...
thats as close as i want to get to either of these pizza delilvery boy cars...
@Dr.Danger:
That's Zenki, since you can cleary see they removed the ugly stacked grill. I've owned 4 Kouki AE86's. :P
"i just cant figure out why it wont get gas to the injection system , pump must be frozen cause it sat for like two years, but when i spray starter fluid into the intake it runs and idles really nice it might have a bad pump and relay or something"
are you serious??
starion for the win
@Dr.Danger:
Nah, the tail lights, and whats left of the front bumper indicates an 85 "zenki" model. kouki and zenki coupe tail lights are not interchangeable due to body differences
AE86 wins my vote. Based purely on the fact that theres much more aftermarket support and a bigger cult following. Starions are cool though because its one of the few cars of the 80s with such a honkin' huge front mount intercooler!
Stallion, er, Starion FTW! (Can there be another choice here?)
Starion/Conquest, no matter how you spell it or how you say it the result is the same: nightmare.
Super Starion man, the period key is here: "."
Oh my oh my.
I have many a time commented how the AE86 is among my faves as a "drivers car". Because it is just that. Nothing more, nothing less, a swift, rwd platform for bare-knuckle driving. No Power this or that, only slightly servo'd brakes and light weight.
But.
I'd pretty much forgotten about the Starion. The Japanese Capri! With the available 2.7 litre I4 (Europe at least) and those '80s shoulder-pad wheelarches, available rear screen slats and the blackest of black paint. OMFG I <3 it.
And I wouldn't even entertain the notion of keeping that engine in it. Oh no, this would be the home for two turbochargers, probably with a 2JZ-GTE Supra engine.
Or if I was feeling really dirty and perverse, maybe a 20B Mazda rotary..... No, that's just sick.
Even a mint-condition Starion is more hellish than a low-compression Corolla GTS. Ask me how I know. I might break down like T.O.
My dad had a Conquest in the early 90s. He got rid of it for a few reasons, though the one I tend to remember had something to do with 'the block cracking down the middle'. Fun times.
Corolla, because being an enthusiast owning one would be about the same level of hell as owing a Civic, about five years ago. It'll always , been that drift car, the one that'll get noticed by a crowd you don't wanna be noticed by. The Starion, that'll put you through hell and back (maybe two or three times for good measure), but when someone talks to you about it, it'll warm the cockles of your oddball heart and decieve you into thinking it's a good idea.
And, if Top Gear has taught us anything, hell isn't owning a Starion, *Clarkson-esque pause* it's being a blithering idiot.
I'm so confused... one POLAR says go with what you know, the Toyota...
... but the evil little POLAR with the horns and pointy tail says Chryslerbishi all the way!!
Gotta go 'Yoda on this one. It looks like it has been well molested. The Starion I notice has the parking brake on. If it's been like that for two years, it's probably permanently applied at this point...
Celica! I have AWESOME memories of riding in the back of one and having my mom spin two or three times on an icy uphill 90 degree right hander. BEAUTIFUL. That did more for my gear headage than countless Mercs, Audis, Volvos, Porsches, VWs, Fiats, Alfas, etc that my dad was always driving around. Spinning out is AWESOME when you're 12.
@POLAR: But dude, what's hellish about going with what you know... listen to the horny POLAR and go Chryslerbishi.
Since when has horny ever led a man astray...?
@Rust-MyEnemy: Can you find me an engine that sounds like the one in Jackie Chan's Starion in the first Cannonball movie?
Go with the Corolla. You become an instant G-d at drifting the second you start it up.
The AE86 runs. Starion it is.
@FLB: Possibly if you were to cut off a couple of the turbo blades....
Now, If only Knight Rider would use an '88 Starion...
Instinct was for the Starion, but imagine the potential with a RACE BRED 4A-GE!
Paint it white, put tofu delivery decals on the side, install an 11000-rpm tach, and become Akina's next drift king.
Starion Is No!
Super Hoon Potential!
Massively Expensive Parts!!!!
my cousin bought one of these slightly used in high school (early 90's)...and that MF'n car needed 1600 brake jobs, pricey tranny work and had all sorts o electric gremlins...and that was 15 yrs ago when they were young....
much like I was *sigh*
Stallion for sure.
The combination of 80s semi-computerized Japanese engine management, turbos, fuel delivery issues and CA smog (for me) = hell.
But man, I loves me some angular Japanese styling. I'll park this next to my (mythical) 85 4Runner and my wife's going to wear leg warmers and Chucks everywhere.
@russell_s: and absolutely loved eating its own heat shield...
Welcome to Hell...table for two sir, we've been expecting you...
@Charles_Barrett: Yes! Horny is good!
You can combine the two, it is popular in ny amongst Puerto Rican tuners (and I assume it is popular in PR as well) to put the startion turbo motor into rwd corollas, usually the TE series but the AE as well.
This is Hell for project cars, right? then why would you pick something made by Toyota? Starion is hell reincarnate!
No matter how fucked up the AE86 has become, parts are just too cheap and plentiful. Even considering how much previous owners have fucked it up, go to a junkyard, find a fresh motor, pop it in, and 95% of the hell would be over with right there.
Starion with fuel delivery issues and a questionable motor rebuild? Now THAT'S hell.
"IT WILL LOOK REALLY NICE ONCE FINISHED." Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to project car hell.
Time for SUPER INFERNAL POTENTIAL!!
@akirachan: Exactly.
Starion, of course. But my real question, after reading this write-up, is why Murilee would be after F. Scott's drink of choice. Shouldn't she be more interested in the fact that Zelda always drank sidecars?
@DiscoQuinn: @vitrium:
Dangit...your right, i had it backwards.
Normally, yes, forget the Toy but this teenage fool has just tinkered it to death. The deal maker for me was the clinical information about various cylinders but ONE TIRE IS FLAT. How lame do you have to be not to take care of that little item? Is this guy such a broke down meth head he can't cover even that?
The Starion guy is nuts, too--why confess you have let the thing sit dead for 2 whole years because you can't figure out anything to do except spray crap into the engine to get it started and then share your idiotic musings with us, o king of rattle paint?
I am NOT that "Starion guy"--you'd think he was selling a dog breed--this car needs someone who'll love and understand it--unlike you, loser!
Wait. They're both drift shits. Crush 'em. The cars too.
starion is the only choice for non-communists.
@FLB: Chan didn't drive a Starion in Cannonball Run, it was whatever small Subaru was around back then as I recall. Having said that, Starion, obvs.
Starion? Eff the Starion. Takumi (thought his name was Takeshi or something until I looked up just now) and I (and our Tofu-delivery proven driving) will take the AE86 any day. It's for the same reason I would take the Sunoco or Smokey's Camaro over any other. Historical and/or pop culture value goes a long way.
The "BOTH" button isn't working.
I'd go for the Stallion (oops, I mean Starion. Don't I speaku plopper engrish?). It was, after all, the car that started Mitsubishi's manufacture of clappy turbochargers designed by Gallett.
AE86, I've watched way too much Initial D and Best Motoring Touge Showdown to vote otherwise.
On its own it may not be very hellish, it's a toyota after all. But there's plenty of engine mod/swap hell potential. You could do the MX-5 piston swap, or maybe the 4A-GE out of an AE111, how about the F20 from an S2000. Or you could source one of the TRD race engines, getting that cleared for the street would be hell. If you wanted to be really weird you drop a 13B from an RX-7 in there, or better yet the 20B tri-rotor from a Cosmo.
@skylark64: @something_unique_and_descriptive: So glad someone else knows what I was talking about! Or have you seen second stage?