Jalopnik
Convincing isn't it? The body work, the lights, the wheels, the stance... at first glance they all work together quite nicely to telegraph that yes, this is a riced BMW 5-series. You have to cry a little inside even though the BMW is a bit ugly to begin with. What can you think though, when you swing around to the front and notice that there's a four cylinder engine mounted east-west? Confusion, fear, disbelief - these are all normal feelings. When you realize this is a Honda Civic with more money invested in it than you have in your kids college fund, how does that make you feel? Is it better to be a poseur Civic, or a ricer BMW? Hey, who cares, there are blue boobs in the trunk.
Photo credit: Curtis Walker
The Devil Made Him Do It: Honda 5-Series?
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4:15 PM on Wed Jan 9 2008
By Ben Wojdyla
2,866 views
57 comments
Comments
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Classy!
I'm having difficulty determining what i'm looking at there.
Set it on fire. Set it on fire NOW. The amount of money these douchenozzles pour into this and the CIVIC->M3 "conversion" they could've actually bought one.
Psycho Shower Screem says it all.
Ooh, that's almost worse than the eye-searing Cadillac DTS that was posted here a couple of weeks ago. No wait, that's worse, because not only is it ugly, it also says the owner is an insecure pretentious poser. (excuse the redundancy) For that kind of money you could have a real BMW so this is like getting Rudy Giuliani to dress up as Marilyn Monroe when you could have the real thing. Ewww.
The bumper extension monitors are a nice touch. I pray I dont have stroke and that thing is the last thing I remember.
"Invested?"
If I woke up tomorrow and found out that I had built that "thing", I would kill myself.
No LCD screens in the trunk? LAME!
I still think this is worse:
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1 YES its still front wheel drive
2 YES its still an automatic
3 YES it still has the stock headunit
4 YES he did win a trophy
5 NO the nitrious is not hooked up
WHY??
Everyone loves blue boobs in the trunk!
Everybody's missin' the point here, those are BLUE FIBERGLASS BOOBS (a whole torso in fact for those of you playing along with the home game) in the trunk. Did some stripper allow themselves to be molded for that??? Is their video??
Otherwise, use this for MRAP testing
With each passing day I lose more faith in humanity.
@BN.: Wait? What?
Not only is it front wheel drive with drag tires in the back, but why wold it also need wheelie bars? And is that parachute hooked to a trailer hitch?
This is the worst thing ive seen on this website so far.
Spend enough time in West LA and not even this will phase you.
@Dr.Danger: Look closer, there is at least one on the underside of the trunk lid, maybe two
@Dr.Danger: I believe wheelie bars can actually serve a purpose with FWD drag racers, I can't totally remember why and im sure someone on here can explain it.
@TRAMS_AM: So you're saying Civic to BMW conversions are the 2 girls 1 cup of the auto world?
This from the guy who "won the gold metal" and had it bronzed
wow...all that money spent and they didn't even do an engine swap...
My god.
Theres too much to look at.
It's like automotive white noise.
It's so ugly it hurts my ears.
Feet,
Arms,
Genitals
and hair.
Unpimp ze auto, dare I say?
Well, if he spills his 64 ounce blue razz slushie, chances are you would never know.
I bet those back seat passengers feel SOO lame because their doors open the normal way.
NOS bottles also double as great armrests!
You mean to tell me that people still do this to their automobiles?!
The bars in the "kidney grille" are all crooked... coat hangers or barbecue parts?
...and this guy is so used to having a dead hooker's torso in the trunk that he molded in a custom carrying case?
Ewwww...
Why not just buy a real BMW instead of wasting money on this pile of shit?
See, this is what give the Civic, an otherwise sporty yet economical and reliable little car, such a bad name. It's obvious Honda hoes not employ a trained team of ninja ASIMO assassins or this kind of stuff just wouldn't happen.
Ok, I just died laughing, went back to hell and then saw more of these things. I wasn't laughing anymore.
I'm back on earth now. Let's drag that thing onto an artillery range. Now.
@BN.: wow...
That is definitely worse...
I feel like we are digressing back to the cars seen on the this site [riceboypage.com]
which has been around so long I think it was actually part of ARPANET
Really? Not only does a man exist who believes this was a good idea, but another panel of men agreed said man deserves a trophy for it. Amazing...
@jnostalgics: agree completely.
my buddy's wife has a 99 Civic Si. Black with a black carbon hood. It actually has the regular Civic wheels because the car was stolen, stripped, and recovered and regular Civic headrests. It has a few basic goodies under the hood. It is not going to snap your neck but it is fun for some simple light to light stuff...
@jalarmo: You know, that's about as close to a proper explanation as we're ever going to get for the trunk boobs.
@BN.: wow, I have seen it all... big's and little's on a stock celica... automatic to boot... with the drag tires on the non-powered tires.... awesome.
I like the fact that they felt that the topless fiberglass torso is just dandy, but they put a bikini bottom on it, for the sake of good taste.
@TheMadAdder:
This car is so bad I think I just threw up in your mouth a little.
That's as close to actual boobs as the owner will ever get.
BLASPHEMY
@buck23: Yep. Another case of what happens if you paint without the fume hood. The long exposure to organic solvents shorts the brain circuits.
You start thinking, "You know what would look reeeealy good?..." And your buddy goes, "Yeah, and we can have blue BOOBS in the TRUNK!" And you spray on one more coat, and it all makes perfect sense. Then you wake up in the morning, and you have this, this THING, so the next logical step is to tell everyone you did it for the ART, and enter a contest. Which you do, and you know, everyone else at the show has been ON THIS RIDE before, and they look at the car, and they talk to you, and they say, "Yeah dude, it's really freekin awesome man!!" And they give you a trophy, because they remember what it was like, that no one could understand. So you stand there after the show, with the rest of the guys, after the magazine photographers have gone, and you tell your buddy, who rode up for the show, "You know man, it was a trip doin it, but I think I'm gonna sell it, because it's too rad to be a daily drive." And he nods and says, "Yeah man I know. But I got this idea for an old El Camino I seen down the street." And you get in the van and drive home.
What a piece of shit.
@BN.:
I feel sick
Unoriginal...Bangle already gets an under-the-table residual for every new Accord sold...
And... you're welcome everyone.
Sorry.
The best thing about that Celica is that you can see a "Fast&Furious" sticker on a window.
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd!
You're a bad car, a very bad car! I'm going to wish you into the cornfield right now!
WTF-?
i was thinking the worst part about that celica is the Pyle subwoofers in the back. In case nobody knows, pyle is the manufacturer of the "3500Watt" subwoofer...selling for the low low price of like $65.00.
If they had spent half the money on performance as they did making this car look like something the fast n furious shat (past tense of shit) out, theyd have a decent car. actually its still a last gen celica, so probably not.
They went this far why not a 3rd boob?