We get a lot of product pitches over here in the Jalopnik tips e-mail box. I guess y'all should be flattered all these PR-types all want to get their random crap productin front of your eyes. In fact, we get so many we don't even have time to read through most of them, leading to many getting nothing more than a cursory once-over before being relegated to the Trash bin. That was the fate for this here product — the "SUPERBUMPER" — an energy absorbing, receiver mounted ball mount — when we first saw it. According to the press release, it:

"combines a ball mount with an energy absorbing bumper or "Hitch Step" that protects your vehicle from rear-end collisions, reduces whiplash injuries, shields your gas tank from under-ride, eliminates parking lot and parallel parking dents and dings while lowering insurance claims. The patented compression system passed a 5 mph "Rear Into Pole" crash test similar to the tests conducted by the Insurance Institute For Highway Safety without damaging the vehicle."

All well and good — who doesn't like protecting your rear from poles — but we wouldn't have given it a second thought if it hadn't come with a list of "56 Reasons To Let Your Audience Know About This!" So feel free to tell us after the jump which, if any, of the 56 reasons apply. Oh, and, did we mention despite the hype, there's actually only 46 reasons?

1. The most frequent accident on the highway is the rear end collision - at 29.7%.

2. 75% of rear end collisions are less than 10 mph.

3. Most are direct hits (which is why you don't need anything to protect the corners - backing accidents get the corners).

4. 94% of rear end collisions occur on straight roads.

5. 1% - the percent of time that the average consumer actually pulls a trailer.

6. 99% - the amount of usage you could get from the strength of your receiver hitch and this energy absorbing bumper.

7. 77% of consumers want stronger bumpers on their cars.

8. 88% of consumers want stronger bumpers on pickup trucks, SUVs and mini vans.

9. $1,618 - average cost to fix a full size pickup truck bumper from a 5 mph collision - in 2004 prices.

10. Twice - Women are twice as likely as a man to end up with a whiplash injury in a low speed (10 mph or less) rear end collision.

11. Low speed rear end collisions (less than 10 mph) accentuate the whiplash more than high speed ones.

12. 2.7 Billion - the amount of money spent just to fix the whiplash injuries.

13. $9,900 - cost per claim for every whiplash injury.

14. The only aftermarket bumper to survive the 5 MPH "Rear Into Pole" crash test without damage to the bumper or vehicle.

15. 2.5 mph - the Federal Bumper Standard for passenger cars

16. 0 mph - the Federal Bumper Standard for pickup trucks, SUVs & mini vans - which is why they'll never get better.

17. 80% of bumper scratches occur during parking - usually by the "other guy".

18. 30% of drivers feel it's OK to "love tap" your bumper when parallel parking.

19. 14% of all claims for auto damage involve parking lot collisions.

20. 79% of consumers claim their bumpers were damaged in a parking garage.

21. 77% of fuel system ruptures were the result of rear end collision damage.

22. 17 seconds - a reported rear end collision occurs.

23. 8.5 seconds - an unreported rear end collision occurs.

24. 35 minutes - the time you'll spend at the accident scene filling out forms.

25. 78 minutes - the time you'll spend filling out forms after your accident.

26. 4 hours - the time you'll spend getting repair estimates.

27. 2 days - the average time without your car.

28. 26% - percent of uninsured drivers in Mississippi - 25% in California and Alabama - 24% in New Mexico - 22% in Arizona.

29. 14.7% - national average percentage of uninsured drivers on the road today (2004) - if they hit you, you'll pay anyway.

30. 3 times - rear-end impacts are three times as likely to result in a fatal fire.

31. 143 - the number of people that die each year from a rear end collision fire.

32. $16,500 - average cost per accident claim for employers.

33. $74,000 - average cost per accident claim for employers if an on-the-job crash results in an injury.

34. $500,000 - costs can exceed $500,000 for employers if the accident results in a fatality.

35. $20,000 - extra money a company needs to make @ a 5% profit margin to cover a $1,000 accident claim.

36. 3 times - You are 3 times more likely to burn to death in a rear-end collision than you are to kill someone by backing over them.

37. 17 times more money is spent on fixing damage from a rear end collision than from backing.

38. When it's winter in the northern states the towing season is pretty much over - but the protective season is just getting started.

39. Made in the USA - (contains no lead).

40. 8 million - That's how many plastic bumpers are replaced each year.

41. 27 Years-That's how long it's been since the consumer has had 5 mph bumpers (1982) - now we only have 2.5 mph bumpers.

42. 61% - percent of surveyed business executives believe their companies receive an ROI of $3.00 or more for every $1.00 theyspend on improving workplace safety.

43. 80% of all rear end collisions were caused by driver inattention, following too closely, external distraction (talking on cell phones, shaving, applying makeup, fiddling with the radio or CD player, kids, etc.) and poor judgment.

44. 3 major factors determine the price and value of a used vehicle: model year, mileage and condition. If the bodywork has dings, dents and paint chips, it shows an uncaring owner who probably neglected the vehicle.

45. Now you have a real bumper for all your bumper stickers.

46. 50 times - more likely to get rear ended than strike a dear or animal.