We had a few complaints that yesterday's Choose Your Eternity challenge wasn't quite hellish enough (although we're pretty sure the buyers of those two Japanese AWD turbomobiles are going to be shaking their fists at cruel Fate pretty soon). But we aim to please, so now we're coming back with a pair of positively punitive projects for your perusal. Thanks (and a Project Car Hell Tipster T-shirt) to Mink66 for the tip!
Wouldn't you feel sharp rolling down the boulevard in a vintage Mercedes roadster? Ja, ja, of course... but- Mein Gott!- look at the price tags on those things! But don't walk away, buddy- have we got a deal for you! How about this 1956 Mercedes 190SL (go here if the ad disappears) for only $6,500 asking? You'd probably ask "Where's the catch?" Well, no, you wouldn't- not after you saw the photos! But don't let appearances fool you- this car is even rougher than the photographs indicate. Take a deep breath and dive into some Craigslist-spec CAPSLOCK description. The high points: the engine is a Ford 289, the rear end is a narrowed Ford of some kind, and the transmission isn't mentioned (we're betting on the Mercedes-Benz-approved Leaky C4 Option). As for the interior, we'll let the seller put it in his or her inimitable style: "ITS BEEN GUTTED DO YOU SEE AN INTERIOR NO I DON'T." It allegedly "RAN GREAT" for a while, but wouldn't you know, a "FUNKY NO KNOW ELECTRIC PERSON WORKED ON IT" and this car's running days were over. Best of all, you'll have a chance to break out the Ass-Bondo: "IT WILL NEED TO GET SOME BONDO. TO FIX THE ASS END." We suggest going for the 10-gallon Economy Size bucket of Bondo, or even the 55-gallon drum.
Considering a vintage Mercedes-Benz? What, you're too good for your old friends? You think you're some kind of landed gentry now? Hell no! That's why you need a classic People's Car for your next project... but of course you'll need the ability to drive through the mud at high speed, which is why you oughta take a squint at this 1969 Volkswagen Karmann Ghia with Buick V6 and 4x4 Drivetrain (go here if the ad disappears). It's priced at $500 less than the 190SL, and the seller claims it "Runs All Day Long" and "Just Needs Paint." We think it "Needs A Lot More Than That," but there's no problem on an air-cooled Volkswagen that can't be fixed with lawnmower parts and a $9.99 convenience-store toolkit. This fine off-road machine comes with Buick V6 power, and we all know what happens when you add turbocharging to that engine! It's also got Super Swamper tires and a rollbar, so you'll be able to go anywhere and not fear death. Hey,y'all, watch this!