Fearing Cooties, Democrats Get Vaccinated Before NASCAR EventsS

In a move seemingly calculated to enrage Southern racing fans, who tend to get pissed off when perceived as hookwormy, disease-ridden third-worlders by folks from Yankeeland, Democratic staffers on the House Committee For Homeland Security recommended that those planning to attend NASCAR events in North Carolina and Alabama get vaccinated for hepatitis A and B, diphtheria, tetanus and influenza beforehand. "Democrats should know that there is no preventive measure yet designed to ward off the blue-collar values and patriotism that NASCAR fans represent," snaps the chairwoman of the North Carolina Republican Party. Yes, that's Gerald Ford in the photo and, yes, we know he was a Republican. Hey, it's hard to find shots of politicians getting vaccinated, so you take what you can get. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]