After seeing how the Deutschland V12s went over in yesterday's Choose Your Eternity poll, with the 850i just barely beating the pair of 750iLs, we've learned that it's possible to raise the price of admission charged at the Fiery Gates of Vehicu-Hades and still have legions of
madmen ambitious project lovers forking over the cash and diving into the flames. So get ready to whip out ever-thicker rolls of Benjamins, folks, because we're on a one-way trip to Dante Land today!
The 80s may well have been the decade in which the Ferrari made the most sense. Ferraris of the era didn't have the ungodly awesome racecar cool of the 60s models, and they weren't as loony fast as the current crop, but what goes better with looted S&Ls, Learjets paid for with junk bond profits, and sniffing coke off a $10,000-a-day Brazilian prostitute's rock-hard belly than a Ferrari? Exactly, and it's that sort of immediate-post-Malaise decadence you want when you have the prancing pony on your car's hood ornament. And, so you'll have room for David Lee Roth, 10 keys of Bolivian Marching Powder, and Grace Jones in your ride, you'll need this 1983 Ferrari 400i, now on eBay for a price so low we can't even bring ourselves to utter it in print. Your sensible friends may scream "Nooooo! It's obvious the drivetrain might as well be a bullet-riddled washing machine full of broken Fiat engine parts!" But fix those ex-friends with your steeliest castor-oil-force-feedin' Il Duce-style glare and tell 'em they're dead to you now, because you know you can make this car drive and look just fine!
Some might dispute the whole 80s-Ferrari-equals-ultimate-decadence thesis I put forth above, and they'd have a good point. See, it's hard to argue with the sort of decadence you'd experience as a rap star, circa 1992, busting caps out the window of your Lambo on the Vegas strip, while your entourage lays down interlocking fields of suppressing fire from their armored Corniches. And now the spirit of those wonderful times can be yours, simply by purchasing this 1991 Lamborghini Diablo, which is available for the kind of price you'd normally pay for a high-quality kit car version. OK, even the seller admits it needs some work; we're not going to sugar-coat it for you, this car will require a few more bucks in parts and some
godlike fairly advanced fabrication skills to get back on the street. The biggest problem is the lack of an engine, but can anyone here not come up with at least a dozen engines that would be appropriate in this car? See, you're practically driving it already! And the best part is that its very name screams "HELL!"