1971 Plymouth Satellite, with Bonus Apocalyptic Car PollS

Back in the era when big, crude Detroit muscle ruled the streets of Alameda, there were two types of cars that did most of the burnouts in front of the AM/PM on Friday nights. Two types of cars that rattled the windows of quiet neighborhoods with their Cherry Bombs and gear drives. I speak, of course, of the GM A-Body and the Chrysler B-Body. We saw an excellent example of the former in yesterday's DOTS, and today we're going to take a look at its main rival.

1971 Plymouth Satellite, with Bonus Apocalyptic Car PollS


This car actually lives just a few blocks from the Chevelle, so it's likely that the owners know each other.

1971 Plymouth Satellite, with Bonus Apocalyptic Car PollS


Now that's just plain scary. Like a piano-wire murderer with half the skin on his face sliced off and big patches of skull visible. Not only that, the weight reduction must be on the order of 200 pounds, and it's exactly where you most want to take the weight off a rear-drive car. Still, the bumper/grille setup on these cars looked so good that I hope the owner's looking for all the parts.

1971 Plymouth Satellite, with Bonus Apocalyptic Car PollS


Just like the Chevelle, there's no telling what engine this thing has. You could get the B-body with anything from a 225-inch Slant Six all the way up to a 425-horse 426 Hemi in '71. I'm guessing this car is on its fifth engine, which I hope is a 440 with 750 double-pumper and rusty Hedmans. Of course, it might be a smog 318.

1971 Plymouth Satellite, with Bonus Apocalyptic Car PollS


Plymouth had a cool-looking emblem. Too bad they're kaput now.

1971 Plymouth Satellite, with Bonus Apocalyptic Car PollS


Spray-painting black Rustoleum on every spot with body rust definitely gives this car a nice menacing look.

1971 Plymouth Satellite, with Bonus Apocalyptic Car PollS


Best of all, it has the biggest wheels and tires that can possibly be stuffed into the wheelwells. Very Mad Max.




So now it's time for our poll. Let's say the Collapse of Civilization has taken place, and Alameda's version of Lord Humungus rules the island city, scavenging for plunder with his army of followers and so on. Which of the two most recent DOTS cars would best suit the ruling strongman?

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