Crack Open A Cold Powerglide Road Soda, Buddy!

Back when I was young and broke and living with a houseful of other young, broke slackers, we figured out that it was possible to make our own beer; once the beermaking hardware had been purchased and enough non-twist-off bottles had been obtained, the opaque, yeasty homebrew we bootlegged up in the garage cost about $5 per case to produce and usually tasted tolerably good. Well, tolerable, anyway. Thing was, guests at our parties were afraid to drink beer out of ominous-looking unlabeled bottles, so I quickly set to work with the old ransom-note cut-and-paste layout technique...

Crack Open A Cold Powerglide Road Soda, Buddy!


Some Xeroxing, cutting, and glue-stick work followed, and we had our own somewhat non-poisonous-looking brands. I made some Infected Weasel Bladder Porter, which lacked marketing appeal but featured a really cool weasel logo, followed by Shame Beer and Spiro Agnew Stout. My favorite, however, was good ol' Powerglide Road Soda Genuine Draft (the "Road Soda" part came from the cop who taught at a traffic school I'd attended in penance for a speeding ticket; he referred to drunk drivers as having "had a few too many road sodas" and the phrase hardwired itself into my brain). The inspiration for the beer's name came from the Powerglide that sat on the floor of our "brewery" in a slowly spreading puddle of Dexron; I had swapped a TH350 into my Impala and was trying to find someone who would give me money for a perfectly good Slip-N-Slide (eventually I got a Quadrajet and an OD-1 distortion pedal for it). I'd thought all the PRS bottles were long gone, but look what showed up in a long-forgotten box!