Yesterday, the Postfather hipped all us Jalops to the very real possibility that Cadillac's next CTS-V will come packin' 600 Horsepower. The collective response was, "Yawn, me want an M5." Then, ole Werty Wert put up a post about the new Shelby Super Snake with 725 fucking horsepower! The second response was actually, "yawn." Only our Canadian buddy Danio3834 came to both of these insane machines' defense. But I am not praising Danio. Why? Because I've heard him say too many times that he wouldn't pay for an M5 or an RS 4 because they don't have Chevy small blocks. And yes I'm half-Canadian, so according to the Provincial Fairness Act I can single him out. More to the point, we're all guilty to some degree of motorized fundamentalism.
In high school I remember the Chevy goons yelling "Fucked On Race Day" at the Ford goons. Which is why to this day I'm put off by both Chevelles and Mustangs. Before I was born, my folks moved from St. Louis to California and in transit my mother's Falcon didn't like the 14,000 foot elevation in the Rockies. My earliest memory of my father is him telling me how awful Fords are. And the first girl who ever broke my heart drove a red '65 Mustang Convertible. All that said, I'm probably going to stick the Shelby GT500 in the Fantasy Garage, because it is that friggin' awesome. But in the back of my mind... My mother tried a different approach. To this day she will not buy a German car because of the Holocaust. She can afford any car, but refuses to even look at the Germans. Luckily, I have memories of my father after we finished test driving a 740iL saying, "BMW didn't make ovens." How about you; where does your orthodoxy spring from?
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