Nine long years ago when Daimler seemingly out of nowhere snatched up Chrysler, minds began reeling. My father, who was still freaked out about German reunification, thought that the Germans owning Jeep was the third sign of the apocalypse. Word on the street was that Daimler was hungry for the soft and bountiful teat of SUV-crazed America. And everyone cried a little bit when they killed Plymouth. Then, suddenly, came word of the 300C and Magnum. Suddenly, Daimler was here to save America from itself by giving us what we really want: V8, rear-wheel drivers with room for four or more. Thank you, thank you, thank you mein ubermenchen! And the Charger was, in a way, even better. But then came the Caliber, and the Compass and worst of all – especially when considering the success of and love for the LX platform cars – the new Sebring. That's a car which I have described as a "horseshit abortion." And that's because I'm nice. Anyhow, obviously, Chrysler's been phoning it in for the last few years. Like Albert Brooks. And now that Dailmer is out of the picture, we're asking you to play the part of the prognosticator and tell us where Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep will be in nine-years.
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