B-List Action Figure Found Dead on Lawn in New JerseyS

Action figure Steve Houston was found dead in his "Earth Speeder" vehicle at a residence in Montvale, New Jersey early Sunday morning. Houston, who was once described as "sucky" and "who the hell is that?" was purchased from P&J's Stationary in New Brunswick on December 25, 1978 by a local man. Sources say the man, Uncle Jeff, now 60, had been out drinking with his girlfriend the evening before, and allegedly chose Houston's "Intergalactec [sic] Playset" over a bag of Crazee Novelty pick-up sticks and a copy of Teen Beat featuring Leif Garrett. The Montvale Coroner's office has yet to rule out foul play, but a spokesperson said suicide was likely the cause of death. Acquaintances say Houston had been despondent for years, after having been deemed "lame-ass," and spent the next 27 years in and out of the attic, emerging only once a year for an annual tag sale. In his later years, Houston did enjoy a resurgence in popularity when he was featured several times on the eBay web site. But friends say he'd been unhappy with the "Buy it Now" offer that promised to banish him to a home in St. Louis, Missouri in April. Police ask anyone with information regarding the incident to just forget the whole thing ever happened and go on with their lives.

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