Daytona 500 Live-Blog: Drive Quickly, Call Me Jeff Gordon...

Yup, the man in the rainbow brite car's moved up from 42nd place to 20th, and somehow Boris Said found a way to disappoint his legions of Said-heads by taking himself out of the race.

3:53:32 PM: Yes, thank you Darrell Waltrip — we do tend to take things out on our friends, don't we?

4:03:22 PM: Wait, did we just hear that a driver tried to turn "right?" What is this "right" they speak of?

4:06:39 PM: Gilliland led for 18 laps, and Kurt Busch's now the leader, and has been for around 19 laps.

4:11:51 PM: Although Jeff Gordon's done a great job moving up from 42nd to 20th, the biggest mover has got to be Kevin Harvick's moved up to 6th from all the way back in 34th.

4:15:42 PM: Tony Stewart's now taken the lead. Oh, wow. It's the third lead change of the race. We're going to go and get a new beer.

4:18:15 PM: And we're 53 laps in...jeez...how long's this supposed to last? Oh wait, 2.5 miles per lap — It's called the "500" — we're guessing like 200. Jeez...

4:18:39 PM: I swear, there's more Chevy signage, graphics and commercials than I've seen since...umm...ever.

4:20:23 PM: Montoya's doing great — he's in second-to-last place.

4:26:29 PM: Montoya has a talent for going slow...even into pit-row. But apparently he's saying his "car's running really tight...can't even run it on the apron without losing control." Sucks to be Juan Pablo.

4:29:55 PM: Oh wait, what's this? His name is Juan Pablo Montoya — he's moved up to 35th place, prepare to die.

4:30:44 PM: The Dale Earnahrdt Jr. DirecTV commercial with Dale Jr. doing smokey burnouts is kinda weird. Dunno why, just is.

4:32:15 PM: Wait a second, did a Model T almost pass a Ford Fusion in that FoMoCo commercial? Hmm. That could make sense come to think of it. Oh wait, that'd be a Toyota Camry commercial.

4:33:19 PM: 70 laps down.

4:37:18 PM: Harvick's just on fire — the man who won the race yesterday is now in 3rd place.

4:37:37 PM: Gilliland's just dropped into 6th place.

4:41:44 PM: There's a problem with the rear of Kyle Petty...err...the rear of Kyle Petty's CAR. Got it.

4:41:55 PM: Tony Stewart's just stalled in pit row.

4:42:00 PM: Oh wait, now he's out.

4:43:05 PM: Tony Stewart said the oil pressure's dropping to 20 psi in the slow speed of caution.

4:43:55 PM: Petty's got a shredded tire attached to the wheel housing. That's what caused the problems of the past few minutes. Also, Gilliland's a tool for causing some in-pit-row accidents. But hey, no harm — and he'll probably lose some points.

4:48:30 PM: Hey, Kurt Busch is in the numero uno position now.

4:49:32 PM: Denny Hamlin wants to know "who's your daddy?" We're not sure — but hey, with the Busch brothers in 1st and 2nd, they each know who their brothers are.

4:53:13 PM: Dale Jr.'s rolling loose and now he's moving his hands all over the place to keep his Chevy on the race track — and now he's moved down to 21st place from 4th. Not sure what the problem is, but he's dropped completely out of the lead pack.

5:00:02 PM: Kurt Busch has now been in the lead for 44 laps — and you know what? This shit's getting real boring. Can someone please crash soon?

5:08:02 PM: Oh sorry there — I just nodded off a bit. Did I just hear the boys on the boob tube comparing Harvick's helmet to the Sistine Chapel?!

5:15:23 PM: There may be no black NASCAR drivers, but I did just see rapper TI in the Chevy Impala SS commercial...and yes, it was a black SS.

5:20:47 PM: Kurt's brother just dropped down to 7th place from 2nd. Tony Stewart's jumped back up to 15th place, but the Kurt Busch versus Denny Hamlin thing's getting a bit interesting...

5:23:21 PM: Holy shoot, everyone and their brother's pitting right now.

5:26:48 PM: Jeff Burton's #31 Cingular Chevy car looks like it's got a confederate flag on the top. Maybe that's why they're changing over to ATT...

5:34:50 PM: Ricky Rudd's moved up to 2nd place, and the two big movers are Tony Stewart who's moved back up to 8th place, and Kevin Harvick who's lapping at 186.706 mph, more than a second faster than Kurt Busch, the leader. But Busch has now been leading for 85 laps with only 60 more to go.

5:35:08 PM: Oof, and Stewart's now moved up to 5th, passing Edwards and Sauter.

5:39:54 PM: Fuck Rudd, here comes Busch-brother Kyle back into 2nd place right up Kurt's ass.

5:40:09 PM: And Tony Stewart's now right on Kyle's ass!

5:40:23 PM: And we know Tony knows ass — usually because he's one himself.

5:41:12 PM: Mike Joy thinks Rudd's the fastest in the pit, but he, like us, was wrong. It was actually Jeff Gordon. He may not be driving fast, but he's certainly pitting fast.

5:44:07 PM: Tony Stewart's now in first place. And the FoxPromo want's to be clear that Tony wants you to "look for him in the final laps."

5:44:19 PM: Someone's got to get TI out of Dale Jr.'s car. Fucking A, that's why he's crawlin' on the track today!

5:45:50 PM: CRASH IN TURN FOUR! Tony Stewart and Kurt Busch went into each other!

5:45:52 PM: Smash it up!

5:46:25 PM: Kurt Busch is out! Tony Stewart's out! Took 'em long enough to have a big crash.



Related:

Daytona 500 Live-Blog: It's All About The Pre-Race [internal]