Oh man. We typed the headline before we watched the video. So far we're at the 3-minute mark and we've learned that the M5 wagon is made of metal, has an interior complete with seats and an engine that says "V10" on it. Snore-a-roo. There's no sound, either. Wait, we're 3:14 in and the uberest of all uber-wagons (or at least the highest reving) is starting to move. 3:26 and we finally get the engine note. It sounds like five Hyabusas taking part in an Anaconda-style sex ball (don't ask, I'm on a roll). And... you know what? Even something as truly, righteously Bruce as a frigging 500 horsepower station wagon is just murdered by low-quality, low-production, low-rent internet video. And people wonder why we like Top Gear so much. How can this be so boring? Do a donut or something. It's at the 5:30 point and I need more coffee. Still, the car sounds quite good. But why bother — what's the point? Of the video — the rationale behind the car is crystal clear. Christ this is dull. And now it's over.

Related:
Loverman To Suffer Heart Attack: BMW Shows Official Photo of M5 Touring!!! [Internal]