DaimlerChrysler Hires Former FBI Chief As Consultant, Jedi Master

The big internal two-year investigation over at the German-American hybrid is just now beginning to wind down. The investigation, according to the Detroit News has so far dug up cases of bribery of officials in Asia, Africa and Eastern Europe. The bribery allegations are in fact such a big deal it's caused all sorts of bells and whistles to go off over in DC at the Securities and Exchange Commission — plus a criminal probe by the Justice Department for good measure. Maybe that's why the automaker just hired former FBI director Louis Freeh. We're assuming it's because the man's a Jedi master with the ability to wave his hands mystically in the air and make the Justice League Department think these aren't the bribes they're looking for. It's the only reason we can think of for why DCX is looking to hire the guy in command during so many of the FBI's most stellar moments. Ruby Ridge, Waco, Richard Jewell, Wen Ho Lee and the Carnivore system — yup, the man definitely displayed a talent for bobbing and weaving out of even a Brownie-like level of scandals. We're assuming he'll do one heck of a job for DaimlerChrysler.

DCX probe spans globe [Detroit News]

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DaimlerChrysler To Consider Joint Venture For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan [internal]