Chrylser, Chrysler, Pants On Fire!

Sales incentives are a risky game for US automakers these days — they help you to get rid of stock on the lots quickly, but they do it at the risk of cannibalizing profits, future sales and resale value of your products. And apparently, according to Joe "Would I Lie To You" Eberhardt's interview with Reuters earlier this week, the 'merican side of the German-American hybrid wasn't going to be providing any additional sales incentives for the month of December. So, if that's the case, then the "Premiere Event" postcard I got in the mail — the one that's pictured above and which the Freep's Katie Merx brings up in her article referenced in the morning shift — must be a figment of my imagination. It's the only way to explain why I'm offered an "additional $1000.00 bonus cash" off the price of a 2007 Dodge Caliber, Dodge Nitro SXT or a Dodge Ram Quad Cab. Because if that ain't an incentive program, I don't know what the hell it is. Oh but wait, there's more — after the initial article appeared online yesterday, Merx reported a Chrysler spokesman as saying when Eberhardt originally said no "new incentives" in December, he really meant that they wouldn't launch any innovative or new types of incentives. Oh yeah, well — it is a direct mail piece, right — we guess that's not new or innovative — but wait, we're not done yet, there's more...

...Josee Valcourt's article in the Detroit News this morning features a quote from Chrysler spokesman Kevin McCormick on the direct mail piece, mailed to over three million current Chrysler owners. Kevin claims that "it is the largest mailing that we've done at one time."

So let's get this all straight — according to Eberhardt it's not an incentive, because it's not an "innovative or new type" of incentive. It's not an "innovative or new type" of incentive but it is the "largest mailing we've done at one time." So are Eberhardt and his sales and marketing team next going to tell us what the meaning of the word "is" is?

Chrysler Group dealers to offer cash incentive [Freep]

Related:
Chrysler Group's Marketing Man Makes You Wonder: "Hey Joe, Is It Time To Go?" [internal]