Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Audi RS4 - He Said Supercar, He Said 'Meh' Edition - Part 3

Why You Should Buy This Car

Loverman: It comes with one of the world's all time great OEM engines. It goes way, way faster than however fast stink actually goes. The handling is ridiculously precise, the brakes are even better than the handling and to an untrained eye, the driver of said vehicle picks up dry-cleaning for S-Class-owning studio bigwigs. You'll win a lot of street races in the RS4. For the money, no car comes close — save the Z06, but you look goofy in gold chains. But most of all, you should buy the RS4 because it makes you laugh and giggle and constantly shout, "OH MY GOD!!!"

Johnson: Many Bothan spies died to bring us this engine. Audi should offer a Fleshlight option in front of the engine simply so you can commune with it properly. Because trust me, you will feel the need. The brakes are heaven-sent. Clutch and gear lever action are good at speed. But mostly, you should buy it because it runs like a stripe-assed ape.

Why You Shouldn't Buy This Car

Johnson: Because the seats suck and it pushes during attempted donuts. Those two roughly cancel each other out. This car is specifically designed for hoonage, but it pretends to be everyday-livable. It excels at neither of these, although it goes very fast and sticks like properly-cured epoxy. Yet there are other cars I'd much rather have, regardless of price. Oh, and the mileage is Valdez-horrific.

Loverman: It works for OPEC. You like the people you make sit in the back. Sherman-tank ride quality might make you bite your tongue off. The stupid yellow idiot light blinks at you the whole time you have the traction/stability control switched off. Turning said traction/stability control off raises your monthly life-insurance premiums. You enjoy having a valid driver's license. You don't think $70,000 cars should look like $30,000 cars. You don't enjoy driving.

Suitability Parameters:

Speed Merchants: Yes
Fashion Victims: No
Treehuggers: No
Mack Daddies: No
Tuner Crowd: Yes
Hairdressers: No
Penny Pinchers: No
Euro Snobs: Yes
Working Stiffs: No
Technogeeks: No
Poseurs: No
Soccer Moms: No
Nascar Dads: No
Golfing Grandparents: No

Vitals:

Manufacturer: Audi
Model tested: RS4
Model year: 2007
Price as Tested: $69,585
Engine type: 4.2L DOHC Aluminum V8
Horsepower: 420 hp @ 7000 rpm
Torque: 317lbs. ft. @ 3000 - 7000rpm
Redline: 8250 rpm
Wheels and Tires: 19" 7-spoke wheels w/ 255/35 Pirelli high performance tires
Drive type: AWD
0 - 60: 4.6
1/4 mile: 13.2 seconds @ 107mph
Fuel economy city/highway: 14/20mpg
Observed fuel economy city/highway: 11mpg

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Audi RS4 - He Said Supercar, He Said 'Meh' Edition - Part 3

Related:
Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Audi RS4 — He Said Supercar, He Said 'Meh' Part 1; Part 2 [Internal]