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What do you do when the trusty 5 cylinder diesel in your 1981 Mercedes 300TD finally requires a replacement? While most people would probably find another Mercedes diesel and enjoy several hundred thousand more miles of relatively trouble free driving, the builder of this unique Benz had an entirely different idea. More »
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Several years before the 4runner was introduced to the world an odd collaboration between Toyota and Winnebago produced a little known compact SUV conversion called the Trekker. More »
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The 1981 Buick Regal and figure skaters (specifically Icecapades star Charlie Tigner) had a lot in common, at least that was the premise of this strange vintage advertisement. More »
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We aren't sure there is such a thing as a normal AMC Eagle, but we feel safe saying other models of the 4x4 car were a lot less strange than this Sundancer convertible model. These convertible Eagles were offered through AMC dealers as an expensive coach built option for only two years. The Eagle's notoriously rust prone nature combined with the very low initial production numbers makes surviving Sundancers like this one currently on Ebay very rare birds. More »
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If you had other ideas when "they" told you to go into medicine, the strikingly new 1981 Monte Carlo was the car for you. Chevrolet built it for people that were so proud of who they were it could only be expressed through drum solos and Monte Carlo ownership. More »
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Welcome to Down On The Street, where we admire old vehicles found on the streets of the Island That Rust Forgot: Alameda, California. I think I've seen a total of two Stradas during the last 20 years, both in Alameda. More »
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You know you're in the Malaise Era when the best quarter-mile times for the wildest street cars money can buy are barely into the 14s. But still, who doesn't want an '81 Aston Martin Volante or BMW M1? More »
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After a few years of double-digit annual inflation in the late 1970s, Americans had become accustomed to Malaise Era interest rates. That's why Mercury's offer of a mere 12 percent APR sounded pretty good. More »
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Yes, what could be more American than a Volkswagen-engined Plymouth based on a Simca design? Actually, big spenders could get the '81 Horizon with Chrysler's new 2.2 engine, which upped the American-ness to some extent. More »
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Welcome to Down On The Street, where we admire old vehicles found parked on the streets of the Island That Rust Forgot: Alameda, California. How much power does a car really need? More »
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Welcome to Down On The Street, where we admire old vehicles found parked on the streets of the Island That Rust Forgot: Alameda, California. Our last DOTS Toyota was all the way back in January. More »
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Welcome to Project Car Hell, where you choose your eternity by selecting the project that's the coolest... and the most hellish! One hell project just isn't enough! More »
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When you're 21 years old and you've already owned a Yugo, a Fiat Spider, and numerous air-cooled Volkswagens, what's the next logical step? Hey, those cars were PCH gateway drugs!
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More than any car we've seen, the Mustang has always been marketed as a product that can transform its owner's entire life. A Mustang buyer becomes somebody different, according to Ford. More »
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Was the Renault Le Car (aka Renault 5) really the best-selling front-wheel-drive car in the world in 1981? From the country that brought us the bullet train, here comes the Le Car! More »
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Though the cars themselves must cost less than $500, the cost of the required safety equipment pushes the build cost of a typical LeMons car well above two grand. That stuff is worth every penny!
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Welcome to Down On The Street, where we admire old vehicles found parked on the streets of the Island That Rust Forgot: Alameda, California. Today we've got Exhibit A in the Datsun/Nissan Rebranding Story.
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Welcome to Project Car Hell, where you choose your eternity by selecting the project that's the coolest... and the most hellish! You want an insane project limo, right? Sure you do! More »
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The overwhelming majority of voters thought that the Callaway '83 Porsche 944 was reasonably priced at $45,000; not bad for a Late Malaise Era machine. Today we're going to ponder a car from the same era, and it may be even more rare than the Callaway 944: a really straight, all-original Chevy Chevette! More »
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You ready for Nice Price Or Crack Pipe today? It's ready for you! Today we've got a really interesting one: the original prototype Gale Banks Buick turbocharged V6 engine- the one that led to the Grand National- installed in a Full Mullet Airbrush Mural Overload '81 Regal… and priced at two hundred grand. That engine, if legit, is certainly worth plenty, but that car somehow doesn't look six-figure-y. What do you think? More »
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Ready for another round of Nice Price Or Crack Pipe? Yesterday, a decisive 89% of you felt that $6,500 was just too much to ask for a Datsun 200SX convertible, so it's off to Booth Number Two for that car! Today we've got something for you fans of vintage Detroit iron- a genuine, coach-built, 1-of-120-built 1981 Ford Fairmont Futura Durango pickups, or, as we like to call such a vehicle: a Fairmontchero! Now, it's no Cyclonechero, particularly in the engine compartment, but it's still a pretty cool cartruck. Question is, nearly 15 grand worth of cool? More »
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We couldn't get the gas-sipping BMW 315 over here in Nordamerika; instead, we had to make do with the thirsty 320i version of the E21 platform. Over in Germany, however, the money saved on gas by the 315 facilitated drive-by Quaalude deals between wholesome-looking tennis players… or whatever the hell is going on in this ad. Key swapping? More »
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A decisive 85% of you felt that the $39,975 Iran Khodro Paykan Deluxe required a major helping of Hubba Rocks to look like a wise investment, but today's choice might be more of a dilemma. Yes, the Cimarron was a total disaster for Cadillac, diluting its brand at the worst possible time, but that makes it a historically significant car… and Pixel has found this super-original, low-mileage example in a used-car dealership with an $8,995 price tag. You might be looking at the best Cimarron on the planet here; check out Pixel's Flickr sets, then make the jump to read his comments on this fine Cadillac compact and vote in the NPOCP poll. More »
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Welcome to Project Car Hell, where you choose your eternity by selecting the project that's the coolest... and the most hellish! Last time we simultaneously crushed and seared our fingers in the red-hot vise of the Hell Garage, the Shelby-ized Dodge Omni beat hell out of the Shelby-ized Dodge Shadow in the poll. Today, with the New England 24 Hours of LeMons race coming up in just a few days, we're thinking about the kind of car it takes to win the most prestigious trophy of the event. No, that's not the one that goes to the so-called "overall winner" (although a team does get some heavy-duty bragging rights by taking that honor). We're talking about the coveted Index Of Effluency trophy, the one given to the team that achieves beyond all reasonable expectation in a seemingly hopeless "race car." You contend for the IOE by showing up in a looks-fast-on-paper car that everyone knows is going to blow up for sure (e.g., Maserati Biturbo, Merkur XR4Ti, Pontiac Fiero, etc.), or by clattering onto the track in something ungodly slow yet totally lovable (see Tunachuckers) and then keeping that crappy heap on the track for hour after punishing hour. We're going with a mix of both approaches in today's Choose Your Eternity matchup!
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Want to boost the mileage in your '80 Malibu wagon from 11 MPG all the way up to 13 MPG? Mr. Goodwrench has four ways: Air up! Tune Up! Clean Up! Slow Up! Then, next time those pesky Iranians make oil prices go crazy, you'll be ready. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=398886&view=rss&microfeed=true When you're talking minor Malaise Era celebrities, you can't do much better than Charo. Maaco decided the ideal ad would start off with Ms. Cuchi-Cuchi providing the intro, then go straight into wooden-faced testimonials from allegedly satisfied customers, including a guy with the classic partly-tinted Serial Killer Eyewear™ look. More »
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We love to pit one high-end Italian car against another in this series; we've had Ferrari 250 versus Lamborghini Diablo, Espada versus Espada, Ferrari Mondial versus Maserati Coupe, among others. Up until now, however, a Lamborghini has never vied with a Maserati for a place in your Garage Of Eternal Suffering. We've managed to find a couple of quite affordable classics from those two manufacturers, so it's time to triple the size of your tool collection and buy some asbestos coveralls! More »
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Looks like the Ferrari-versus-Lamborghini Hell Project score is now Enzo 1, Ferrucio 1, according to the results of Monday's Choose Your Eternity Poll. We'll see about reprising the epic battle of the kings of finicky and costly Italian machinery soon enough, but today we're going to tell the oil companies we've had enough of their crazy prices and look at Electric Car Hell. And we don't mean glorified golf carts or even plug-in hybrids- we mean rear-wheel-drive American cars with great big electric motors and racks of lead-acid batteries, from the era of the Second Energy Crisis! Thanks, and a PCH Tipster T-shirt to ShastaMcNasty for the tips! More »
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When you're a six-foot-tall, 80-pound 1981 babe, the list of things you need for a hot night on the dance floor is pretty short: 1) Cocaine. 2) Absurdly high heels. 3) A Ford Mustang. 4) Cocaine. 5) Cocaine. Ford was eager to provide Item #3, and the 88 HP four-cylinder engine lets you save your money for you-know-what! More »
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It's hard to believe there was ever a time without Ford Escorts in North America, but the '81 was the very first (and, miserable as those early Escorts were, they were much better cars than the Pintos they replaced). The SS was the top-of-the-line Escort for '81, with a whopping 65 horsepower driving the front wheels. Thanks to a short flash of a baseball score (and super-obsessed baseball geeks), we know this advertisement was aired on May 23, 1981. More »
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Wouldn't you know it, the 60s BMW coupe beat the 80s one in our last Choose Your Eternity poll. Sure, the 633CSi is more complicated, but you might be able to find a parts car or three in your local wrecking yard... and where's the Hell there? Today we're going to return to the perennial France-versus-the-world battle for the All Time Global Project Car Hell JiggaChampion Trophy (which leaks rusty water and has to be jump-started), and- just because we love an underdog- we're going to let Japan take on the mightiest of PCH Superpowers! More »
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In a stunning upset, the Borgward Hansa wagon handed Germany a one-sided victory over the Peugeot 304 in our most recent Choose Your Eternity poll. With France long reigning as the world's lone HyperGalactic PCH OmniPower, we would be remiss if we didn't give the French a shot at prying the oil-leaking, stripped-fastener-thread PCH CryptoChampion trophy from the Germans, in order to prove that the Borgward's victory wasn't just some one-shot fluke. That's why we're rolling out some Hell Project heavy artillery today, with a pair of undeniably cool- yet just as undeniably nightmarish- machines vying for long-term residency in your Garage Of Torture. More »
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You could be stuck in a snowdrift, spinning the rear wheels on what appears to be a mid-70s Buick... or you could head on down to your Plymouth dealer and buy one of the fruits of the US Government's bailout of Chrysler Corporation: The 1982 Horizon, Reliant, and TC3! Remember the TC3? Yes, the Plymouth clone of the forgettable Dodge 024... and who could forget the Horizon Miser? Still, these cars helped haul Chrysler out of the abyss. More »
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Can an American car- even a 60-year-old American car made by a long-defunct manufacturer- compete with an entry PCH Superpower Italy? Not according to our most recent Choose Your Eternity poll, in which the '38 Studebaker Dictator lost out to the '68 OTAS 820. That might have something to do with the fact that most of the OTAS now resides in the belly of the Rust Monster, but it also points out just how tough it is to beat a PCH Superpower. However, Project Car Hell is all about beating your unstoppable head against an immobile brick wall, forever, so we're coming right back with another Italy-versus-America matchup. And not just your quotidian-type X-1/9-versus-Pacer deal, oh no- today we're plunging headfirst into the molten sulfur of Custom Stretch Limo Hell! More »
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Some of our sharper-eyed readers may have noticed the car backed up against yesterday's Scout and said to yourselves, "Wait a minute... there's something odd about that Malaise econobox!" Well, that's exactly what I said about 10 seconds after I saw the Scout and started gearing up to take photographs; I think it was the crazy door handles that first tipped me off about the possibility of a Super Double DOTS Potential situation, and then I just about dropped the camera when I caught sight of the grille. More »
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Normally I don't pry off many emblems during visits to my local wrecking yard; I'm there frequently and my house would get overwhelmed by clutter if I pocketed every somewhat cool emblem I encountered (though I do make an exception for early 1970s Chevy Impala emblems). However, every so often some emblem catches my eye and I must have it; in this case it's the emblem representing Cadillac's infamous V8-6-4 engine of 1981, which combined with the Cimarron to give Cadillac's image a couple of big black eyes that lingered for years (cylinder deactivation works great these days, delivering excellent mileage from large-displacement engines, but not all the bugs had been worked out back then). Best of all, it's a Malaise-style "stick-on" emblem without difficult-to-mount studs, so it's getting JB Welded to my laptop as a theft deterrent. I mean, would you steal a V8-6-4? More »
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In a vivid demonstration of how this here internet thing has made the world shrink, BobAsh (our Czech Tatra 603 road-testin' friend) has arranged with me and Señor Loverman to inspect, buy, and deliver an East Bay 1981 Corvette to a shipping container bound from the Port of Los Angeles for the Land of Kafka. The Loverman's role was to handle the "buy and deliver" part, an adventure he covered in his usual style at his current place of employment. But before that Late Malaise machine could head south, it had to be inspected by yours truly; make the jump for the story and more photos. More »
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Remember the Renault 18i? Maybe if you live in Europe (where it was called the Renault 18, without the i) you do, but in North America these things disappeared without a trace. AMC had to sell Renaults as part of its deal with the French government; a fair number of Le Cars and Alliances limped off the showroom floors, but the other models (e.g., the Medallion) were bombs. Smell the desperation in this ad, especially the part at the end about the "10% rollback." More »
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So we had our Favorite Detroit Malaise Car poll last week, from which the '78 Cadillac Eldorado emerged triumphant (the combo of a 500 cubic-inch engine and T-tops proved unbeatable). But what about Malaisemobiles from across the waters? This poll includes the rebadged imports sold by Detroit as part of their "if you can't beat 'em, put your name on 'em" strategy of the era, in addition to straight-out imports. Jump like a UH-1 leaving the roof of the US Embassy in Saigon to see the contestants!
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With the Malaisetastic '80 Plymouth Fire Arrow that we saw yesterday on my mind, I got to thinking about the meaning of the Malaise Era, specifically about the American-built vehicles sold during that period. Not captive imports like the Fire Arrow or quasi-domestics like the Capri, but real Detroit (or Kenosha) machinery. And, yes, I know that Jimmy Carter never actually uttered the word "Malaise" in his so-called Crisis of Confidence speech in 1979; what started as a joke term for the cars of the 1973-1983 period has now hardwired itself into my brain). Then I realized that I've forgotten the quasi-tradition of having a Friday poll for the readers to vote on their favorite DOTS machine of the week, so I owe you some DOTS poll action. That means it's time to jump like the late-70s inflation rate to pick your favorite of Alameda's Malaisewagons!
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