This is what happens when you agree to go on the air sick as a dog and hungover. That's right — nevermind the "crazy eyes" of past performances — instead, you get the "close your eyes and pretend to sleep" thing Wert's got going on. So despite actually saying something this time (Wert's been coached very well by Spinelli this time) — his freestylin' comments on FoMoCo are less enjoyable than watching him go all "Eyes Wide Shut" on us. We feel like we should add a rule to the drinking game — one drink each time an Associate Editor, Detroit closes his eyes for longer than what normally is necessary to blink. Wert's random eye movement notwithstanding, anyone want to count up how many drinks that was? And yes, you can count one drink for each time "Freestyle" is mentioned — regardless of the form of the word. Just wanted to clear that up.
Jalopnik · Ray Wert