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The relief is thick in the air at Jalopnik bedquarters, as any substantiation of the unsubstantiated heresay of Jeremy Clarkson's demise fails to materalize. Supporting the 'e's-not-dead-yet camp is a report Clarkson was spotted at a UK music festival on Sunday, making it virtually impossible for him, in the post-Concorde age, to have then flown to Portugal and gotten mortally injured at the hoofs of an equine. Let's just hope it's not a ruse in the manner of the Beatles' Paul Is Dead conspiracy. Come to think of it, has anyone seen Andre the Giant lately? [Thanks to Sam for the tip.]

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