Much like the wind cries "Mary," there is a Blt that Thnders "DOHERTY!" And said Thndering Blt kicked us down another heartwarming odd vehicle theft involving a drunk guy in New England. 26-year-old Michael Moran found a street sweeper with the keys in it in a parking garage, and in a fit of drunken New English logic, decided to take the machine for a cruise. Our favorite bit is this: "Moran traveled several blocks before he was caught by people chasing him." We're imagining an army of torch-wielding Clavin-clones running after the machine, yelling Eastern Seaboard-style epithets at him while Ennio Morricone's "The Ecstacy of Gold" plays loudly over speakers mounted on the sweeper's roof Japanese-Cosell-Better Off Dead-style. All of it, of course, in extra-dramatic slow-mo.
Time to Heist the Donuts: Maine Man Steals Dunks Truck [Internal]