Image credit: Universal. Art: Jason Torchinsky

I’ve watched the first Fast and Furious movie enough times now to basically know it line-for-line. And so the next logical step for this level of fandom is to recast the movie to include myself and my coworkers.

After 15 minutes of furious and fast Slacking, here’s what us at Jalopnik came up with:


The Fast and the Furious Jalopnik Recast:

  • Andrew Collins...................Brian O’Conner
  • Mike Ballaban.....................Dominic Toretto
  • Kristen Lee...........................Letty Ortiz
  • Alanis King...........................Mia Toretto
  • Justin Westbrook................Johnny Tran
  • Raphael Orlove....................Jesse
  • Tom McParland..................Leon
  • Jason Torchinsky...............Vince
  • Patrick George....................Sgt. Tanner
  • Erin Marquis.......................Harry (car parts store owner)
  • Ryan Felton.........................Agent Bilkins
  • Adam Milt............................Ferrari Guy
  • David Tracy.........................Danny Yamato
  • Stef Schrader......................Shotgun-Wielding Truck Driver

Additional casting:

  • Bob Sorokanich................“Street’s closed, pizza boy, find another way home” Guy
  • Andrew Fails......................Edwin/Ja Rule

How did we do? Did we miss any characters? Mis-cast anyone? Let me know in the comments!

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Update: Our own Jason Torchinsky mocked up a new FF family photo with the Jalopnik staff. Can you spot where Patrick George and David Tracy are hiding?

Also, special shoutout to Mini guy ( tall in real life), who produced this wonderful addition: