The other weekend I found myself at a car show put on by Magnus Walker, with row after row of pristine Porsche 911s, all with engine bays so clean you could eat off of them. It is with those 911s in mind that I ask, which one of you is going to buy this crapheap widebody Porsche 928 for $4,000?

Oh yes, this is the real deal. This car, this pinnacle of Justification For Higher Education, is a Porsche 928 (off to a good start) with a not-molded-on widebody kit complete with non-functioning Testarossa strakes (getting better) for sale in New Jersey (we have hit the jackpot).

Does it run?

Hell no.

The north Jersey seller explains how this car came up for sale in its CL listing:

Hello, 1983 porsche 928 wide body kit . Leather power windows ac car 14" wide rear tires 12" wide front tires was sitting in a garage for 20+ years needs to be hand cranked and drain tank to run 5 speed car is being sold with bill of sale you must put a lien or file for a title . Wide body kit is solid pieces not moulded on its a cool car was gonna do a Ls1 conversion ask $4000.00 please dreamers don’t waste my time add is self explanatory,

One of you bastards is going to buy this car, do you hear me? I don’t care if you keep it #periodcorrect and keep the body kit, or if you update and backdate it with later running gear and earlier styling.

That’s not important to me. What’s important is that this car lives again, a spec of dirt in the eye of the 911 resto crowd.

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