So just now here at bustling Jalopnik HQ, we had a little disagreement over our long-distance video-fax units. One of our writers maintained the BMW 5GT up there is significantly uglier than the sedan. I know many agree with him; what I want to know is why.

See, I don’t think it’s uglier, but I encounter so many people who do, I’m starting to wonder if there’s something wrong with me. I like this general shape on cars, and that shape doesn’t seem to be popular; the failure of the Merkur Scorpio is just one of many examples of this.

The thing is, I’ve never really heard a clear reason why people find this sort of large hatch so unpleasant. Many of the complaints about similar cars, like the Porsche Panamera, suggest a certain ass-heaviness, but I’m still not sure I have a handle on why a large hatch is objectively less attractive than a trunk’d car.

For some cars, the homeliness is clear, and understandable. An early Citroën Ami, for example, has a face only a blind and equally ugly mother could love. I really like these Amis, but even I can’t pretend that front end is anything but ugly-baton-beaten.

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But the full-sized hatch? I don’t get it. I don’t understand why these are seen so commonly as aesthetic disasters. So I’m asking you to either explain why you think they’re terrible, or, if you like, defend them.

I’m going to try to use what we find here for a larger project based on why we seem to like what we like about the way cars look. But, to get started, I want to try and figure out what we’re thinking when we look at cars.

So, I’m listening!