Every time a new Cars 3 trailer comes out, it seems that more and more unsettling questions come up. We just finished reeling from the complicated and disturbing implications of a school bus character, and now this new trailer just adds to the madness. Let’s scrutinize. Together.

So, if you haven’t yet seen the trailer, check it out:

Okay, this first issue is a big one. Let’s take a look at some of the Lightning McQueen-branded merchandise shown here. Specifically, this:

The Lightning McGrill. It’s like a George Foreman Grill in our world. We use them to cook food, which we masticate and digest (‘eat’) with our soft, moist human bodies.

Advertisement

Advertisement

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE CARS DOING WITH A GRILL?

What are they grilling? What are they doing with what they grill? Are they eating...whatever it is? Is it meat? Who’s meat? If they’re eating meat, they must have some sort of biological digestive tract, which lends credence to my Homunculus Theory.

Remember this?

Because that sort of fits with the grill. And that box of ‘Kachow Mix’ next to the grill. And what seems to be kombucha:

I thought the Cars just drank oil and gas? What the hell are they hiding from us? Does this have anything to do with the tractor-bulls/cows we see in the trailer?

Are they slaughtering the tractor-cows and eating their tractor-beef? Is that what the grill is for? Is there muscle tissue in those things?

Advertisement

Sponsored

Oh, and then there’s these McQueen-branded items:

These spray bottles of cleanser: WHO ARE THEY FOR? That trigger-sprayer is designed for human hands; there’s no part of a car that can operate such a device. We’ve seen how cars in the Cars series manipulate tools with their front wheels. Here’s a shot of Holly Shiftwell using a pair of tire-operated pointing devices to operate the GUI of a computer:

Those spray bottles do not work with tires. Are there still humans, with human hands around? Are they enslaved, and that’s why a cleaning product would be designed for them? What the hell is going on?

And, perhaps most disturbingly:

Why so many early ‘80s Chrysler K-Cars in the trailer? There’s three in barely two seconds of crowd shots — that ratio of K-Cars makes absolutely no sense.

Something’s up. Something sinister. We have to get to the bottom of this.