There’s a series coming to Syfy this summer called Blood Drive, and it has a relatively simple premise. The world has run out of oil so cars are fueled, naturally, with blood. And while I get that it’s supposed to be intentionally absurd and campy, I’m concerned about the premise. I got questions.

At first you might wonder “why blood?” But it makes sense if you think about it for half a second and not an instant more. In a world where the oil has run out, surely humanity has learned its lesson about finite resources, and has turned to a more sustainable fuel. Blood, being constantly produced by all animals, is virtually limitless, with new blood being created all the time.

But.

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  • The engines appear to still work on an internal combustion system. How do they burn the blood?
  • Does anyone know the energy density of blood?
  • It can’t be as much as gasoline, right?
  • Cars probably have bigger fuel tanks for all this blood they gotta carry around, no?
  • Maybe the blood isn’t burned, but rather carries oxygen to break down the bonds of glucose molecules in order to extract energy, much like it does in humans?
  • If the blood is transporting oxygen, does it work like a mammalian circulatory system?
  • If it does, don’t cars now need a liver, kidneys, and all sorts of other fun organs?
  • Wouldn’t this imply that cars have digestive systems as well?
  • Do the cars poop?
  • What happens to all the car poop?
  • I thought we made cars because we got tired of horse poop in streets?
  • Is there a method for collecting the waste and further turning it into energy?
  • Are you sure this show shouldn’t just be called Horses?
  • If cars are just horses, is this technically a Western?
  • Why bother with cars then?
  • Why blood?

Wow, love sustainable living.