Look, I totally get the message Honda is trying to convey in this commercial. But it’s just not landing. Not at all. In fact, I’m actually very pissed off right now because I’ve watched this commercial.

To sum it up, a happy family has a red Honda Civic hatch that they love. They go everywhere in it. They have many beautiful memories in it. The little girl especially loves it. But then, because the parents are having a third child, they need more room. So they trade the little red Civic in for A BEIGE CR-V. IT IS BEIGE. BEIGE!

The overall message is that the Honda lineup will be there for you throughout all the stage in your life. It will accommodate everything your family needs at all moments. But did this have to be the story it told in order to send that message?

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It’s fucked up—look, the car is crying when its BEIGE replacement rolls up the street, like a fucking Terminator of dreams.

And this woman: she’s the bringer of death by conformity. Look at her baring her fangs in an evil grin. That pink blouse ain’t foolin’ no one.

You messed up, parents. See your little girl running after that red Honda? You’ve scarred her for life, she’s going to have separation anxiety forever now. She’s going to grow up with feelings that nothing in life is stable and that things she has come to know and love will suddenly disappear out from under her as soon as they become obsolete.

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She’s learned that there is no such thing as sentimental value and the world for her will be a colder and crueler place because of it.

Should have kept the Civic, man.

H/t to John!