GIF via iRacing

April Fools’ Day is dead. You, PR flacks of the world, all killed it with joke announcements and fanciful products you’ll never build. It’s become more of a nuisance than a source of amusement. The most frustrating gags of them all, however, are the actual good ideas that sneak into April 1 announcements.

Take, for example, iRacing’s Porsche 133 announcement. That’s a Porsche diesel tractor. Its in-game existence might actually convince me, a person who is notoriously terrible at racing simulators, to care about a racing simulator announcement on a deeply personal, Porsche-tractor-adoring level. It’s so rad, I can’t even stand it.

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I am down for all the virtual Spec Diesel Tractor racing you want to throw me into even though I’m certain I’m going to go off and plow the field. Good news! That’s what tractors are good at.

Photo credit: BMW

iRacing’s diesel tractor isn’t the only April Fool’s idea I’ve been all about, either, although admittedly, I have questionable taste. BMW very obviously fake-announced Original BMW Unicorn Parts today as well, and yeah, get me some of that.

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The über-serious Germans really should have added a flowing rainbow sparkle mane to their 4er and gone all out with more glitter, but instead, they barely modified the car. However, the existence of rhinestone roundels leads me to believe that certain owners would eat these up. Unicorn BMW stuff is the epitome of the perfect viral product, purpose-made to win at Pinterest forever.

Look, if you make a roundel-mounted unicorn horn, I don’t care if it fits with the BMW #brand or not. I would buy that and mount it to Patrick’s car in a heartbeat.

Point being, stop trying to make April Fools’ Day happen. Most of the jokes like feather wraps and flapping planes fall flat, because we all see them coming. Still, do you know how disheartening it is to have an announcement that’s actually cool turn out to be an elaborate Rick Roll? Give me more Porsche tractor action, or it’s time to nuke April 1 off the face of the calendar.