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Oh to be young, dumb and full of Coors Light again. Brandon Cote of South Portland saw an opportunity while inebriated and took it: an unattended Dunkin' Donuts delivery van with the keys tantalizingly left in the ignition. Roughly three hours later, he was spotted speeding, and the po-po — fiercely protective of donut shop owners everywhere — took off in a 50mph pursuit, nabbing the 18-year-old when he ditched the vehicle and ran. Tipster TexansAreHot is hoping the truck is one of the coffee-and-donut-box-shaped machines pictured above. And well, frankly, we hope so, too. That almost makes the crime worth the time.

South Portland: Theft of donut truck leads to chase, arrest of man, 18 [Portland Press-Herald]

Related:
Snack Attack: Man Steals Frito-Lay Van for Beer Money [Internal]