We're not exactly 100% on this, but we can offer you this Jalopnik Helpful Hint. If you're down with Smiths-loving girls of English parentage who dig vegan victuals, invite one to a plush hotel in a rainy city. Then order a movie about gay cowboys on the hotel TV. Giggle about homoerotic subtexts that can't really be called subtexts in this case, because no matter how liberated you are, the cock 'n' balls is always funny. Then, at the end of that film, choke up. When Willie Nelson covering Bob Dylan (Mister Narrator! This is Bob Dylan to me!) kicks in during the credits, open the floodgates. You will be guaranteed makeouts. If you own a 200 D Benzamino fueled with BioWillie, you might even get to third base. It's available at Love's truck stops in the Dallas area now. James Andresen, in the space of a few days, we've solved your woman troubles. Get on that shit.