Consider yourself on notice, Mr. Neil. It's one thing to compare the Mitsubishi Evo MR's squat comport to a groundhog, but it's a whole 'nuther to point your fancy wordstick at a defenseless 500-lb child.
The stubby and thick Evo MR, on the other hand, is more like a rocket-powered groundhog, or a baby hippo fired out of a cannon. Fast. Ugly.
On the outside, the Evo MR looks like it went into a performance parts store and got dressed in the dark.
Fast. OK, really fast [LA Times]
Dan Neil on the Suzuki Grand Vitara [internal]