While most people seem to believe O.J. Simpson murdered two people, he's always professed his innocence and a jury agreed. Thus it was perplexing when he came out with a book hypothetically explaining how commit double homicide. I'm not saying the Infiniti Q50 'Eua Rouge' is for unrepentant killers, but I'm not not saying that.

Let's start with a long quote from our old friend Johan de Nysschen, current Infiniti Motor Company's president and former German mustache model.

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"If we built this car I would expect it to feature over 500hp and 600lb/ft of torque. Through our various alliance partners we have access to a range of engines featuring this performance capability which, with a fair amount of engineering effort, can be developed to exhibit Infiniti character and accommodated within the Q50 engine bay. The engine we are evaluating for the Q50 Eau Rouge is a big personality, V-cylinder engine with forced induction. I think our engineers have been waiting for a project like this."

The emphasis is mine, on behalf of humanity.

While I'm genuinely excited about the prospect for a fast Q50 given the brand's F1 connection and the general handsomeness of the concept, this kind of hypotheticalism is a touch annoying.

Here are a few hypotheticals:

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If Infiniti built this car, I would expect design director Alfonso Albaisa to spray it with Rhino-liner and enter it in the Mudsummer Classic.

If Infiniti built this car, I would expect Johan de Nysschen to make sweet, sweet love to it while listening to the greatest hits of Hall & Oates.

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If Infiniti built this car, I would expect Sebastian Vettel to eat it, Corporal Klinger-style, one piece at a time to get out of service in the German army.

Also, what the shit is a V-cylinder engine?