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Don't call it a bribe, kids. It's merely appreciation for braving the cold and desolation of downtown Detroit in January. Really. After all, the next time we're about to savage a Jeep product, are we really gonna think back and say, "Man, remember back at the 2006 North American International Auto Show when Jeep gave us that snazzy lockbox that inspired us to sing a corrupted version of the Misfits' 'Twenty Eyes' to Spinelli? Dude, we're totally not gonna dis this thing now. The box just means too much to us." Yep. That's about how it's gonna work, kids.

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